lovesnorm

Hello everyone,

I am new to SR but not to Alcoholism. While I'm not sure if my current bf is an "A" or not, I did answer yes to 13 of the 20 questions on whether Alanon is for me, and I know that I need to work on me.

I went to my first f2f a couple weeks ago, but I wasn't really comfortable there. I didn't feel "anonymous" like I do when I'm online. After reading through the stickies and a bunch of threads here on SR, I decided to join. I really feel comfortable here and I think this is a good place for me to be.

Hmm, I'm not even sure where to begin. I guess I'll start with why I say I'm not sure if my current bf is an A... A few years ago I was involved with what I'll call a "Classic A"- hidden bottles of vodka, lying about drinking, all that jazz. I really don't like to think about that part of my past because it was really horrible, and I'm not ready to go into details about it yet.

My current bf drinks mostly beer, and mostly every night (always makes it to work in the morning though), and although it doesn't happen all that often, he sometimes gets so drunk that he either becomes incoherent, or (very rarely) mean. On these occasions he doesn't remember by the next day, however he is usually more affectionate. I think he knows that he got so drunk that he did something that upset me.

I don't want to make him out to be a bad guy, because he isn't. I love him with all my heart, and I know that he loves me. I guess I'm having a good day today because the last time I tried to post an intro I just sat here crying and nothing would come out right.

There is so much I want to say, but for tonight I will stop here and end this by saying I look forward to getting to know you all...

Thank you Alanon!

L

denny57

Welcom, Lovesnorm - glad you're here!

I'm sorry but I have to run to a meeting myself right now - but wanted to say hi. Friday night may be slow so don't get discouraged if you don't get too many replies. It happens on the weekends.

I'll be back to post more later. I think it's great you've realized you need to get proactive on making your life the best it can be.

Hang in there and look forward to getting to know you.

Cynay

Welcome to SR.... we are glad you decided to join us.

You know I loved my ex-abf too.... in fact I probably would not have ended that relationship ... but he did. What I found amazing is his step-mom a year later told me she is sooooooo glad I was not with him anymore.

Its all about you hon, understanding the process, your part in it and just getting educated in this disease. I know its a struggle .... it is for me today and I have no active A in my life.

I look forward to getting to know you too.

blizzard77

Welcome. I hope you find the same acceptance and understanding that I have found her at SR. So many people, so many encouraging words. I for one look forward to getting to know you even if is is in cyberspace.

notsleepingwell

Welcome to SR!!!!You've come to the right place. More will be along shortly with welcome and words of wisdom. The addict in my family is my daughter, so I have no advice in the boyfriend and girlfriend dept's. But you will find this site is a lifesaver!!!

Just wanted to extend a hand of welcome

Live

Have you read the stickie at the top of the relationships forum that defines a healthy relationship. It is a real eye opener!

And welcome, make yourself at home, you are amongst many friends.

live

Canary

Hi lovesnorm,

I'm new here too. I just joined yesterday. I've been addicted to alcohol for twenty years off and on. I've never tried a full blown recovery program before, this is a new adventure for me. I agree that it's easier to open up online than in an actual meeting where people are looking at you.

I hope that you will continue to share. Your post, I think represents feelings of a lot of new people. I certainly understand the crying part.

I suppose we are all trying to hang in there...it's better to hang in there with each other than alone.

I've been sober for (going on) 9 days now. I haven't made it past 5 in a very long time. You said two weeks? Good for you!

Canary

blizzard77

Canary,
Congratulations to you!!! Nine days is something to be very proud of. If AA meetings are too much for you right now, you will find support here at SR. Buy yourself a copy of " The Big Book". It's very informative for both the troubled alcoholic and those who love them. Take it one day, one min, one second at a time. You can do this. Keep it up. Be gentle with yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

kermit

Welcome! You are in the RIGHT spot! This palce is very helpful. It has gotten me out of some pretty low places.

lovesnorm

Congrats on your 9 days! When I said 2 weeks I was referring to when I went to my first f2f Alanon meeting. I am not addicted to alcohol- I am addicted to my boyfriend who is addicted to alcohol. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

Thank you everyone for the warm welcomes.

L

cwohio

welcome lovesnorm - none of addicts are bad people - it's the DISEASE they have that's bad. you will find much wisdom here - glad to here you have tried al-anon. there are many different meetings out there so if the first was not for you, try another.