Hello everyone....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
Hello everyone....
Well.........I've been taken for a ride again.....or maybe not, I guess it's all how I look at it.
I left for Maryland last wednesday. School was to start here that day and I didn't want my boys starting school here and since ah told me to "just go", I went the next day before he could change his mind. My attorney was drawing up papers and talking back and fourth with his attorney (ugh, costs money each time they talk, LOL). In any event, we arrived, all was going well. Kids seemed to adjust the second we pulled in the driveway. I saw such a difference in them beginning the first day. It broke my heart and I was kinda jealous. I realize it's good for them and my jealousy is silly but I secretly felt that way, LOL. My 6 year old told me, "thank you for bringing us here to live, I'll never call you mean again." The boys went fishing with their dad each day and rode bikes outside for countless hours, they made friends with neighborhood kids and just seemed so fresh.
Fast forward to tuesday, I get a call from my attorney telling me ah didn't sign the papers and I had 48 hours to get back to the county or he was going to file for temporary custody......after a good cry and my ex husband explaining to me that I should be very proud of myself, that I took a huge step in coming up there and this was just an inconvience.....I sucked it up. We told the boys I was returning to FL to finish up some buisness and get our stuff and that I'd be back. They didn't bat an eye and just said, "ok, bye mom" basically. My heart broke into a million pieces but I realize this is harder on me leaving them there than it was on them. They are safe and happy and their dad took two weeks off work so he could be there with them and take them to their first week of school, etc.
So, I brought the younger two back to FL and I have an appointment with my attorney this afternoon to see how we fix this as fast as possible. I will not settle for this dragging out yet again! I feel more aggressive than ever and ah just messed with me in the wrong way. here I thought cheating was the worst.....well, you seperate me from some children that I have stayed at home with for 9 years and I believe that takes the cake. But, I knew I couldn't bring them back with me.
so ladies, not sure just yet how he pulled this off but I'm back. I was just hoping I'd be back while in MD but I'm back and still in FL. I used to love this state, I'm starting to truly outgrow it.
I left for Maryland last wednesday. School was to start here that day and I didn't want my boys starting school here and since ah told me to "just go", I went the next day before he could change his mind. My attorney was drawing up papers and talking back and fourth with his attorney (ugh, costs money each time they talk, LOL). In any event, we arrived, all was going well. Kids seemed to adjust the second we pulled in the driveway. I saw such a difference in them beginning the first day. It broke my heart and I was kinda jealous. I realize it's good for them and my jealousy is silly but I secretly felt that way, LOL. My 6 year old told me, "thank you for bringing us here to live, I'll never call you mean again." The boys went fishing with their dad each day and rode bikes outside for countless hours, they made friends with neighborhood kids and just seemed so fresh.
Fast forward to tuesday, I get a call from my attorney telling me ah didn't sign the papers and I had 48 hours to get back to the county or he was going to file for temporary custody......after a good cry and my ex husband explaining to me that I should be very proud of myself, that I took a huge step in coming up there and this was just an inconvience.....I sucked it up. We told the boys I was returning to FL to finish up some buisness and get our stuff and that I'd be back. They didn't bat an eye and just said, "ok, bye mom" basically. My heart broke into a million pieces but I realize this is harder on me leaving them there than it was on them. They are safe and happy and their dad took two weeks off work so he could be there with them and take them to their first week of school, etc.
So, I brought the younger two back to FL and I have an appointment with my attorney this afternoon to see how we fix this as fast as possible. I will not settle for this dragging out yet again! I feel more aggressive than ever and ah just messed with me in the wrong way. here I thought cheating was the worst.....well, you seperate me from some children that I have stayed at home with for 9 years and I believe that takes the cake. But, I knew I couldn't bring them back with me.
so ladies, not sure just yet how he pulled this off but I'm back. I was just hoping I'd be back while in MD but I'm back and still in FL. I used to love this state, I'm starting to truly outgrow it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
((sunshine)) - unfreakin'believable! i am glad the 2 boys were able to adjust and stay in MD. what a wonderful mother you are - you're kids are absolutely in the best care they can be with you! prayers that this latest fiasco will get solved quickly.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Oh man!
What a DICK!!!
So what if he files for temp cusdody, a judge would still have to grant it to him, right? (what are the odds of that happening anyway?) This could get dragged out for months waiting for a court date. I say wait in MD for that court date. Sure hope you get the same message from your lawyer... fingers crossed!
What a DICK!!!
So what if he files for temp cusdody, a judge would still have to grant it to him, right? (what are the odds of that happening anyway?) This could get dragged out for months waiting for a court date. I say wait in MD for that court date. Sure hope you get the same message from your lawyer... fingers crossed!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Ouch...
Yea I see exactally how he did it. Tell you what, turn off the hearing and only pay attention to what your attorney is telling you. That guy is unreal.
Im sorry hon that your back and I know how hard it must have been to leave the boys with there Dad, but it will work out...
*hugs* ... just keep cool.... maybe this is just what you needed to get into that frame of mine that only Mothers that are threnten can do... That complete focus on protecting .... great place to be .
Yea I see exactally how he did it. Tell you what, turn off the hearing and only pay attention to what your attorney is telling you. That guy is unreal.
Im sorry hon that your back and I know how hard it must have been to leave the boys with there Dad, but it will work out...
*hugs* ... just keep cool.... maybe this is just what you needed to get into that frame of mine that only Mothers that are threnten can do... That complete focus on protecting .... great place to be .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
I emailed him and he called me and said it. I didn't talk to him one time while I was away. I never checked my e mail, I never even got on the computer. He did not call and I liked it. I don't know what happened exactly, I'll find out more today.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
I won't be talking to him, I'm afraid of what I'd say. My attorney told me to not talk to him. I'm not going to. If he talks to me, I'll just pretend to listen without responding. I have no desire to talk to him anyway. I have no compassion for his disease, I have not a shread of guilt, not a hurt feeling....I truly have nothing inside me anymore for him at all. He's nothing to me besides a frustration. I don't care if he gets help, continues to drink, etc. I could care less if he hurts himself or helps himself.....I feel so far from recognizing any care in my body for him even in regards to our daughter. All that might sound harsh or hateful but it's where I'm at. I don't feel hateful, I just feel so over it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
Somehow, in the papers he sent my way, she was to be brought back to our address. So yes, I'm staying here but he's been staying somewhere else??? don't know where, don't care. I'm out the door to my appointment with my attorney so I can figure this out and get it to where I can stay somewhere else for now.....I'm not going to stay here taking a chance on him staying here as well. He and I do not need to be in the same space. I'll post an update after my appointment.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
As I have always said, sunshine, expect the unexpected.
Let me paint a scenario:
There's this guy, his buddies think he's a good bloke, holds down a fantastic job, pillar of the community and all that. All of a sudden, his wife ups and leaves to the other end of the country to live in her ex-hubbies house. How on earth does he explain that? Oh, he thinks, I'll make her out to be a nutter. I've got to go for temporary custody of our child, otherwise everyone in my town will think there's some good reason why she's left me. Gotta keep up the pretence that everything's hunky-dory in my life. Ta da!! It's quite simple to second guess, hon, once you understand that all he is interested in doing is maintaining his facade.
Hope your lawyer can give you some good advice. Personally, I would be going for a big fee reduction given that he told you to go ahead with the move without getting anything signed by your hubby, which is shoddy legal practice in my book.
Hoping for a speedy resolution.
Let me paint a scenario:
There's this guy, his buddies think he's a good bloke, holds down a fantastic job, pillar of the community and all that. All of a sudden, his wife ups and leaves to the other end of the country to live in her ex-hubbies house. How on earth does he explain that? Oh, he thinks, I'll make her out to be a nutter. I've got to go for temporary custody of our child, otherwise everyone in my town will think there's some good reason why she's left me. Gotta keep up the pretence that everything's hunky-dory in my life. Ta da!! It's quite simple to second guess, hon, once you understand that all he is interested in doing is maintaining his facade.
Hope your lawyer can give you some good advice. Personally, I would be going for a big fee reduction given that he told you to go ahead with the move without getting anything signed by your hubby, which is shoddy legal practice in my book.
Hoping for a speedy resolution.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Ugh..could be his lawyer's way of making you agreeable to accept a settlement that you normally would laugh at,just to be done with it all.....?
I think AH's lawyer did that;in fact the two of them were arguing in the court room about what he would agree to pay for our children who are just past the legal requirement (AH wanted to pay more...for his own reasons,and I did not object
and his lawyer took issue with him ) His lawyer had me served with two emergency restraining orders (that AH had removed when I asked him what that was about.esp. one was for our 17y daughter who not only lived with me,but she called AH's lawyer and told him that under no circumstances would she stay with her dad;he is an alcoholic) ; he is the alcoholic,the one who moved out,OW,etc.....but with all the $ and 27yr marriage and I have been a stay-at-home mom for 24yrs. AH is the one that can be violent or at least intimidating! His lawyer tried a few things;said that was his S.O.P....maybe it is and maybe that is what happened with your AH's lawyer..........just how he works in these cases. Hard to say.
I wish you the very best and hope you can have a speedy and positive resolution of this mess.
I think AH's lawyer did that;in fact the two of them were arguing in the court room about what he would agree to pay for our children who are just past the legal requirement (AH wanted to pay more...for his own reasons,and I did not object
and his lawyer took issue with him ) His lawyer had me served with two emergency restraining orders (that AH had removed when I asked him what that was about.esp. one was for our 17y daughter who not only lived with me,but she called AH's lawyer and told him that under no circumstances would she stay with her dad;he is an alcoholic) ; he is the alcoholic,the one who moved out,OW,etc.....but with all the $ and 27yr marriage and I have been a stay-at-home mom for 24yrs. AH is the one that can be violent or at least intimidating! His lawyer tried a few things;said that was his S.O.P....maybe it is and maybe that is what happened with your AH's lawyer..........just how he works in these cases. Hard to say.I wish you the very best and hope you can have a speedy and positive resolution of this mess.
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Hang in there sunshine.....things ALWAYS get worse before they get better. You have a very strong head on your shoulders and I know you will get through this WITH your children.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Sunshine, as I've already told you, "I am sooo sorry!" that he has done this to you.
I hope that you get some quick and good news from your lawyer so you can get on with your life and get out of this limbo.
Truly, I believe that he's just wanting power over you.
Be strong! I know it's hard, but I also know you can do it. You are doing it already.
I hope that you get some quick and good news from your lawyer so you can get on with your life and get out of this limbo.
Truly, I believe that he's just wanting power over you.
Be strong! I know it's hard, but I also know you can do it. You are doing it already.
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