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Hi. I'm new with questions.

Old 08-16-2006, 10:28 PM
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Question Hi. I'm new with questions.

My father has been sober for 10 years. Lately, my brother and I have noticed some slurred speech and odd phone calls, especially when my mother is gone for a late night with her girlfriends or away for the weekend. I hadn't actually seen it until a few days ago. I brushed it off but it's been three times this week now and I'm getting nervous. He isn't wildly drunk but I'm still very very nervous about it. If my mother found out she would divorce him.

In less than two weeks I'm moving overseas for a year. I'm afraid to approach my father before I leave. We don't have a very open, talkitive relationship, although it is very loving in a strong, silent way. I thought it might go away but its just getting more frequent. I wish it would just go away.

Any advice on how to approach this? On how to approach him, someone I'm not comfortable having serious life talks with?

Thank you.
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Old 08-16-2006, 10:37 PM
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Unhappy

Oh Boy - I hear your nervousness...My mother is an Alcoholic who has been sober many years in AA and I worry a bit lately about her, altho I know she is still sober...but I also Know there is nothing I can do about it if she drinks...
I also know tho - that Secrets are not good...What do you think would happen if you did ask him - If he is drinking - do you think he would admit it , or deny it and get angry, what was he like when he drank before ??

Someone with more knowledge will be along soon...
You've come to a good place to talk about this and get things off your chest...lots of people here in your position that can share their experiences with you

Janni
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Old 08-17-2006, 07:19 AM
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Welcome someonesdaughter

Glad you are here. I don't have much to offer in the way of advice, but someone here who has been through this is sure to show up.

Just wanted to welcome you to the board. Where will you be moving?
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Old 08-17-2006, 08:19 AM
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Hello and welcome!

Any advice on how to approach this? On how to approach him,
What is it that you are considering saying to him or want him to hear you say?
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Old 08-17-2006, 08:29 AM
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Hi there and welcome to these parts...

If it was me in your shoes I would probably think about what made me comfortable. If I wasn't comfortable with a secret then I would tell my father he should say something or I will. If I wasn't comfortable with nothing being said I would say something, what I said would depend on what would make me comfortable.

It can be hard to enter new territory in terms of talking about deep subjects but you sound sure of the relationship you have so maybe use that as a base to help you feel secure trying something a bit new.

I have never been in your shoes and can only imagine how worried you are - stay around and keep talking, most of all take good care of you!
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Old 08-17-2006, 12:40 PM
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I think I would approch him just to be sure it is alcohol and not a medical condition. You didn't say your fathers age, but I would hate to see something over looked just because we automatically (I would to by the way) think it is alcohol.
Just a thought.
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Old 08-17-2006, 01:08 PM
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Even though you can't control it, cause it, or cure it.......don't ignore the elephant in the room. I would ask him.
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