The Alanon Way
 

Talked to the unsober S.O this morning. Gave him lots of Alanonish responses to the conversation. Those infuriating Alanon responses where you answer detachedly without giving anything to them.:banana:

I've decided to do something different, he says he soesn't want help...........I'm going to believe him and not try to change his mind.

Ngaire

:c043:

good on you ngaire!

Sounds like a good plan, N.

My life got a lot simpler when I learned to distinguish between the truth and the quack.

Excellent!

Way to go.... put your recovery into action and it seems to make the world a much easier place to live in.

I can remember one time I sobbed at my H and said "why don't you just stop drinking?"

He yelled back and me and said "Because I like to drink!"

What a sobering experience that was for me and boy did I know I was in big T R O U B L E!

Judy that reminded me of the day I asked (pleaded thru tear
lined eyes) "please don't take another drink out of that bottle (vodka)
as I was saying the words, he started drinking, when he finished he
looked at me and said,
"okay."

OMG Patty. I know that is sad..... but geeezzzz warn a girl

Thanks for the responses.

I know it's unreal the things they can come out with, "I know I have a problem but I don't want help"

This morning he said "I think I need to wallow in self-pity some more"

I said "Obviously you do."

He says to me "Maybe I'm one of those people who is constitutionally incapable of being honest."

I said "Maybe you are."

Instead of me reverting to my old behaviour of actually having a conversation and trying to be logical against illogic I just gave answers that put it all back in his lap.

Tonight I'm going to a Big Book meeting which will be fun. We read from the Big Book and then discuss what we've read.

Ngaire

"If you've want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before."

Oh boy, does that bring up some real fine moments. Thanks, Patty she says with sarcasm LOL

Good going, ngaire! If we get into their business, the crazies soon set in and we find ourselves upset, angry and/or frustrated. Sounds like you're doing what you need to do to take care of YOU.

OMG Patty is right! How does one respond to that????

Yeah, talk about defeated....I learnt that day
that vodka was winning........ hands down.

Ngaire, you said:

I truly applaud you! Honestly, as much as I know what you said to be oh, so true - I seem to still regress back into exactly what you said about trying to change his mind.

You did great!!!!!!!!!

It took practice to learn not to pick up that rope. That rope is sometimes heavy and hard to let go of. Great job not picking up the rope!

Sounds as if he's firmly put on his pitty pottie. You're doing the right thing leaving him there. He'll get off the pot when, and if, he so desires. Pmaslan - yikes!!. I went through something similar a few nights ago, but nothing as harsh as that. Talk about hard-core!

The latest excuse is he doesn't like the meetings and that the people there are screwed up (that's why we're there)

I said It's my responsibility to find people and meetings that meet my needs if I'm not happy with the meetings I'm going to. No one else will do it for me.

"I may not be much but I'm all I ever think about."

Ngaire

I do that every day and thanks for the "light bulb"

My boss is now on the phone with my AH's boss. He calls all day harrassing me and I finally told my boss who is now taking her own action.
dont know if it was the right thing to do but it sure cant get any worse?

I've heard that one too!