prodigal

Right now I've got to get my body to be a bit more cooperative. It is imperative that I get a halfway decent job that has good health insurance. When a divorce is finalized, the health insurance coverage I have under AH's plan ceases. I'm asthmatic, and the inhalers I use cost big bucks but are affordable with my current insurance plan.

My emotions have ALWAYS come through my stomach for as long as I remember. And boy oh boy are they coming through now. I'm pretty quesy, but when I get hungry and eat something the results are (sorry for sounding indiscrete) MAJOR Montezuma's Revenge. That's leaving me weak. I'm drinking water to rehydrate myself, but water is making me nauseous too. Also, I'm having difficulties with sleep. I laid in bed this morning and tried my darndest to sleep. I dozed, but I had that morning depression/icky/in-shock kinda feeling. Only time will cure it, but I remember having it during previous break-ups and it's a bummer to have such a raw feeling that literally feels as if it is depressing my rib cage!

I take Wellbutrin (for depression) and Klonopin (for anxiety). Neither are cures, but they help level the playing field. Sleeping pills have never worked for me, even short-term.

I have no friends out here, I have no family at all (bummer!) so I have to walk this road pretty much alone with the help of my Higher Power. Like I said, I've been in this situation before and it was six months before I really started coming out of it - fortunately I had a good paying job at the time.

I have called an attorney in Phoenix and am awaiting a return free consultation call.

Thanks to all of you for your support. I realize he didn't chose the bottle over me. He simply made his own choice. I saw how he was going to A.A. He was not finding hapiness or contentment or serenity. I think he expected to come out of recovery and just float on a pink cloud (which he did for about 24 hours).

I guess I'll start making lists and phone calls regarding employment. Time to pack my suitcase, my two furbabies and head for the big city!

equus

All I can think of is insanely cheesey one liners!! I don't really know what to say, I feel sad you're going through this and really do wish I knew how to help.

Take care of yourself and be gentle with you....

LaTeeDa

It doesn't really sound like it would work, but what helped me get the knot out of my stomach was journaling. I spewed all my anger/sadness/disappointment/righteous indignation/grief/etc. into a spiral notebook. Just because you are alone, doesn't mean you have to carry all that stuff around with you. Let it out. Vent it here if you want, most of us understand all too well those feelings that are eating away at the pit of your stomach. Going outside far away from other people and screaming also helped me. Someone posted something about throwing rocks at trees..........

Then, do something good for yourself. (Ice cream is my favorite.)

L

DesertEyes

Hey there prodigal,

Here's what has helped me.

- Visit the closest Department of rehabilitation office. Dunno what they call it in your state, you may have to look it up on the web. Tell them you are going to be off insurance and you need acces to medication. Asthma is a life-threatening disease, so you qualify for the state to provide you low cost inhalants. You may have to get your doc to sign some papers to have you qualify for emergency medical benefits.

- While you are talking to the people at the rehab office tell them you also need a job. Because of the asthma you can't work just anywhere, which means you are partially disabled, and that qualifies you for assistance in finding a job. Specifically ask for jobs _with_ the state. The folks here in Nevada have been wonderful in helping me out.

- Talk to your doc about third generation anti-histamines and steroid shots. I have really bad asthma and i'm taking Kenalog shots every 5 months and clarinex every night. Those two meds have made a _huge_ improvement in my asthma.

- If you're going to move make sure the rehab people set you up with a new hospital _before_ you move. That will save you tons of paperwork.

Don't move to L.A. the smog is _awful_

Mike

robina

A social support system is very important. I know you have all of us here 24-7, but what about face to face interaction?

I find attending my Al-anon groups really amazing and helpful for support and friendship. Do you attend Al-anon?

Zoey

Wouldn't it depend how long you were married, you should be able to stay covered under your X's insurance. Have you talked to an attorney on that part??

Find the right attorney, yellow pages give a hint sometimes, they usually answer a few questions free of charge. Ask Al-Anons if they know good attorney's??

Call your State Attorney General and ask the rules etc. in your state.

You probably know all this. Just a reminder. (Hugs)

prodigal

Thanks for the great advice. I will start looking for rehabilitative services in this state. I think I've found two places in Phoenix just for women in circumstances similar to mine that will be of great help. Both offer career counseling, set up job interviews, have schedules for Al-Anon meetings, and a host of other services.

Al-Anon, like about everything else here in "Hicksville" is rather lean. We have a total of 7 meetings a week, but that's better than none at all, right? There are no Tuesday meetings, but there is one on Wednesday at noon. I'll be there.

I've always thought of journaling, but I think I'll do it in Word. I haven't written in longhand for so long I think I've forgotten how! I think I'll try a liquid yogurt, liquid nutrient diet for the time being. No sense in starving - I don't think my body would appreciate it.

Yuck. Moving. I just moved into this house April 10. Most of the pictures still aren't even on the wall. It's sad. Unpacking and then just up and repacking. Hey, maybe I should start my own moving company - I certainly know how to pack things well!

The most significant relationships of my life have all broken up in summer - two in June and now two in August! Must be something about the summer solctice ...

prodigal

but health insurance ends when the divorce decree is signed by the judge (finalized). Boo! The only advantage I have here over the long haul is he'll have to buy me out of my half of the house and in a community property state, everything he's added to his govt. pension during our marriage is mine (a certain percentage). I am not entitled to his Army pension because we have not been married the required ten years for that to kick in.

I found the law firm of "Barracuda and Killerbees" in the Phoenix yellowpages. LOL! Actually, this firm is known for its aggressive pursuit of their clients' interests. Sometimes you need a guppy/diplomat and other times you need someone who is a paranah (sp?). These guys will cost big bucks, but I'll sue my AH for my attorney's fees. I'm indigent, so what the heck, right?

As much as this stinks, nothing could compare with watching someone falling down on the floor, covered in bruises, broken glass all over the place, and vomiting most of the time. Yuck!

robina

You're really taking some positive action - that's fantastic!