Saying how you feel?
 

How is it that we can take so much abuse. And when it comes down to it.. look at our A and still find guilt, sadness, pity, sadness.... for them? I can see that my lack of closeness hurts him, but I won't stand up for myself and say... NO - I'm really not happy. No - I am not in love with you anymore.

Why is it? Am I really that emotionally beaten down??

This all after another rough week and weekend. AH acted like an as$ all weekend... because the kids and I were down the street and my g-friends house to long the other night. Boy - did we pay for it all weekend. Yet, I find it hard to stand up for myself. I just want to kick myself in the butt.
What is my problem??

I forget, did you ever read Codependent No More?

Your problem my dear Ayers is..you are not sick and tired enough yet
to be sick and tired. When that day comes you will no longer be
asking us what your problem is...you will know.

Ditto both Jazz and Patty. How are your other plans coming along?

You may not be in love with him anymore, but you do not yet love yourself enough to stop the abuse. This is what happens when we live with abuse for a long time - it wears away at our sense of self, until there is not much left. I speak from experience.

But you know there is a problem - you know that you deserve better - but right now, it is all about his pain and his actions and his behaviour.

Do you attend Al-anon?

God Bless

Ayers, you can lean on us as much as you want. Most of us are willing to share all we have in the way of ES&H. (Don't mean to speak for everyone, but you all will let me know if I'm out of line, I'm sure, LOL)

But only you can do what is right for you. Only you can muster the courage to take your own life seriously. Only you can put your needs first. Only you can do the hard thing to save your children. Only you can save yourself. We cannot do it for you. I, for one, will support you all the way. But the hard decisions are on you. You are not a child, you are a grownup. I hope you can force yourself to act like one.

All the above said with total compassion and understanding of how hard it is.

L

L - I always take whatever I get with compassion. Even when it may be harsh. And ... as a matter of fact... I am going to post a new thread about some conversations we had last night.

Thanks you all.

For me, when I walked through my home and all my personal belongings and everything I thought meant so much to me didn't mean anything any more - when everything I had worked for meant nothing - all I wanted to do was just walk out the door with the clothes on my back - I knew I was miserable enough to leave - that I had done all I could do - I had nothing left to give - I was through - I didn't care if I had to sleep on the floor in the middle of Wal-Mart - it had to be more peaceful than my homelife.
That's when I knew I had had enough - that's when I knew I had to take whatever action I could to make my life better no matter what happened to my AH.
Everyone reaches that point at their own time - only you will know when you will reach yours - but we will be here for you when you do.
Keep coming back - Don't stop before the miracle happens in You - You deserve it,
Rita

I didn't see a new thread. I'm hoping you're not going to disappear again. :)

L

Ayers new thread is

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tand-firm.html

Mike :)