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Lost my ex to alcohol. How do I stop worrying?

Old 08-20-2021, 12:24 PM
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Lost my ex to alcohol. How do I stop worrying?

Hi all, I'm new here and could use a little guidance about how to move on from this situation.

I was dating my boyfriend for about two years. I care about him dearly. He has untreated mental health issues and has, in the past, turned to alcohol and drugs during times of stress. He is consistently addicted to nicotine and a very long time ago, spent time in rehab for pills. Over the past few months, as he has gone to graduate school and moved away, I've noticed a massive change in him. He said to me that he felt he was having a crisis: when he wasn't doing schoolwork, he would binge and let loose, and he didn't know how to stop or what to do. It's all come to an end last week when he broke up with me after bailing on a week-long vacation we had planned. He said he can't handle the responsibility of a relationship right now and wants to just go out and have fun and do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. For context: he's driven drunk, passed out in public drunk, and only drinks to get drunk (not just have 1 or 2 drinks with dinner). He recently drank for 2 weeks straight even though he had two exams the Monday after.

I told him I couldn't stay in his life unless he made the decision to get help. He has, but he's also been extremely mean to me, disrespectful, rude, and emotionally abusive. I felt at this point, the best thing to do was to walk away for my own good. But, I can't stop worrying about him. His own roommate is also an alcoholic and ex bf is not surrounded by positive influences otherwise. He rarely sees his family anymore even though they live close by, and has given up on his hobbies. All he's got left is booze.

How do I stop worrying? How do I move on?
jerseysunflower is offline  
Old 08-20-2021, 12:46 PM
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Hi Jersey
Give yourself time. It's only been a week, so everything is raw, and your heart is hurting.
You absolutely done the right thing for yourself, and most times, the right thing is always the hardest thing to do.
Keep yourself busy. Spend time with your friends, doing what you like to do. Any time thoughts of him pop into your mind, do something to change the focus.
Give time, time.
Much Love
Bute x
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jerseysunflower (08-20-2021)
Old 08-22-2021, 03:45 PM
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Bute is right - give yourself time, embrace the pain and know that it will end but it will also bring growth. And keep going back to the reasons why you made your decision. There is a saying in AA: "If nothing changes, nothing changes."
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