I don't recognize my son anymore...
StrivingToThrive
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
I don't recognize my son anymore...
Today, I do not recognize my son.
His actions and behaviors are all signs he is back into his addiction.
I know I have been here before. I see the signs: the detached behavior, the excuses, which are also, lies etc., but I must have forgotten this, because it all seems so new and raw.
I guess, as soon as he was doing well, I must have forgotten the ugliness of the past. Maybe that’s a mother’s love, or maybe that’s just another type of denial☺.
Along with his actions I see some of my own mistakes too. I kept hoping I was wrong even as my gut told me something was very wrong with him.
I listened to his excuses and looked for answers that will make me feel better and less afraid. I wanted so badly to believe.
Maybe its because I was also going through the loss of both of my parents within a 7 month period. I should have known something was wrong when his reaction was not normal for a grandson who was so close to his grandparents.
This time he will probably have to suffer bigger consequences. He has been arrested and I don’t think he will be able to wiggle out of this one.
I don’t remember a time when he has been this detached, self-centered, tormented and empty inside, so he must have either moved on to bigger drugs or he has just sunk deeper into his addictive personality and seems more willing to accept it as normal. Maybe this means he is closer to his bottom. ( I guess I must have some of my tools still working If I can find a positive in this! ☺ )
As I have stated, I have been here before and I also meant that literally! I was a regular on this site and my friends on these forums offered me their encouragement, Strength, and Hope. These messages were some of the things that helped me gain some Sanity.
So I come here again, looking for the Hope and Sanity I had gained then.
I am having a tough year! This all really sucks….
Needing a:
His actions and behaviors are all signs he is back into his addiction.
I know I have been here before. I see the signs: the detached behavior, the excuses, which are also, lies etc., but I must have forgotten this, because it all seems so new and raw.
I guess, as soon as he was doing well, I must have forgotten the ugliness of the past. Maybe that’s a mother’s love, or maybe that’s just another type of denial☺.
Along with his actions I see some of my own mistakes too. I kept hoping I was wrong even as my gut told me something was very wrong with him.
I listened to his excuses and looked for answers that will make me feel better and less afraid. I wanted so badly to believe.
Maybe its because I was also going through the loss of both of my parents within a 7 month period. I should have known something was wrong when his reaction was not normal for a grandson who was so close to his grandparents.
This time he will probably have to suffer bigger consequences. He has been arrested and I don’t think he will be able to wiggle out of this one.
I don’t remember a time when he has been this detached, self-centered, tormented and empty inside, so he must have either moved on to bigger drugs or he has just sunk deeper into his addictive personality and seems more willing to accept it as normal. Maybe this means he is closer to his bottom. ( I guess I must have some of my tools still working If I can find a positive in this! ☺ )
As I have stated, I have been here before and I also meant that literally! I was a regular on this site and my friends on these forums offered me their encouragement, Strength, and Hope. These messages were some of the things that helped me gain some Sanity.
So I come here again, looking for the Hope and Sanity I had gained then.
I am having a tough year! This all really sucks….
Needing a:
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,684
cece: My best wishes and prayers for comfort for you and your son in the loss of your parents, his grandparents.
Sharing this link, as I think the message is comforting: https://www.onlythebible.com/Poems/F...Sand-Poem.html
Sharing this link, as I think the message is comforting: https://www.onlythebible.com/Poems/F...Sand-Poem.html
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Cece....I'm so sorry to hear about your son.Maybe this new set of consequences will have some impact on him and his drinking/drug use. It's amazing how we learn the personality differences depending on what they are using. My stepson is affable but a bit sarcastic in his sense of humor when he is drinking. He is frightening and aggressive on crack.
You and your son will be in my prayers!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 61
You make a good point. Big personality changes!
My son is quite affable and sociable, if a bit moody when drunk. On marijuana he’s ‘dopey’ and subdued, has that far away look. In a world of his own. He can be quite aggressive if he’s drunk and stoned, swearing and attacking.
That’s how I knew he was smoking weed again and not just drinking. He went from day to night... so obvious.
They don’t know how they give themselves away. He thought he was hiding it from me.
My son is quite affable and sociable, if a bit moody when drunk. On marijuana he’s ‘dopey’ and subdued, has that far away look. In a world of his own. He can be quite aggressive if he’s drunk and stoned, swearing and attacking.
That’s how I knew he was smoking weed again and not just drinking. He went from day to night... so obvious.
They don’t know how they give themselves away. He thought he was hiding it from me.
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