hummingbird358

I watched a Dr. Phil show tonight about a 24 yr. old son who had anger issues and drug/alcohol issues. The dad wanted to write him out of his life. He said he was done. They had sent him to 4 rehabs and he still was having issues.
Dr. Phil said that as parents we can never give up trying to "find" our children.
I thought that the sooner we let them fall the sooner they find themselves??
I am so confused. He says one thing and everyone on here tells you to let them fall.

Ann

Dr. Phil has had some pretty poor experiments with this on his show over the years. He knows nothing of codependency and how most parents like me, just about killed themselves trying to save their addicted child. It's a TV show, he needs drama to draw, but I personally don't watch him anymore because he contradicts everything I have ever read or heard about recovery....theirs and outs.

I think if you read around here, check out the sticky posts at the top of the forums, and if you can, go to meetings for our side of addiction...you will get a lot of good help and excellent suggestions from real people in the real world who have nothing to gain except strengthening their own recovery by sharing their light.

Just my thoughts, for what they're worth.

Dee74

Hi hummingbird - have to confess I'm not really a Doctor Phil fan either.
Not everything can be solved in 60 minutes.

I've been keeping up with your threads - I'm sorry your son is still struggling.

I know there's nothing you wouldn't do for him if it would help.

Sometimes I think prayer is the only thing we can fall back on, and my prayers continue for your your son and yourself.

May he find the window of clarity I and so many others did
D

suki44883

Dr. Phil is an entertainer; nothing more, nothing less.

He makes his money by putting on a show.

Seren

I have to agree that Dr. Phil really is mere entertainment. And I haven't given up on my stepson--not at all. I am just not responsible for pushing him into recovery. Been there, done that, never works unless and until the addict/alcoholic is ready themselves.

I pray for my stepson, I would listen to plans he had if he cared to share them with me. I tell him I love him when I have the chance.

tomsteve

dr phil has a PHd is psychology yet isnt a licensed psychologist. he doesnt practice privately any more, only on tv.when he stepped off the stage and into the life of brittney spears, he got himself in deep water.
theres been more than one time licensed, practicing psycholigists that specialize in a certain field has complete;ly disagreed with what he says and even said his advise could be very dangerous.
he never refers to himself as a psychologist nor is licensed or trained in addiction.
having shows on addiction is for one thing and one thing only:
cashing in on the marketing clout. he has no training in the field of addiction nor has been in our shoes.
there have been a few instances of the producers allowing access to alcohol and drugs to guests on the show.theres a couple lawsuits in process about that.

would you trust the words of an actor? someone on stage to make money selling drama?

soberista

Mental health issues be made into a 60 minute TV show? Do me a favour!

Maudcat

Hi, hummingbird.
My own opinion, Dr. phil is full of hooey.
I also take issue with his exploitive tactics, booking clearly ill guests like Shelley Duval, for entertainment.
I think people like him for his tough talk approach.
He says things we would like to say, but, in the real world, tough talk with an addict means absolutely nothing.
Addicts are some of the toughest people in the world.

Morning Glory

I read all I can. I listen to everyone's experience. I look at all their advice and I break it all down into pieces and make a choice of how I want to handle it.
I never follow black and white or right and wrong. I make my decisions based on what is happening right now and I do my best to do the next right thing.

All we can do is the next right thing. I can do a lot more now than I could in the beginning. I do what I can live with at this moment. Awareness, Acceptance, Action. There is no guarantee with anything we do. Read, listen, get support, and make daily choices. We can't control the outcome.

aliciagr

He is probably talking about the "myths surrounding rock bottom". Step out of the way, and the addict will hit bottom, stop, find recovery all on their own. (Except often they don't). The addiction doctor I went to see when I needed help with my husband didn't encourage the rock bottom approach. He was more about explaining the complexity of treating addiction, how it often takes multiple attempts, how the longer it progresses the more treatment it often requires. The point he made was to insert treatment whenever a person was willing to make an attempt. Knowing it might not be 100% successful, but hoping it will raise the bottom ( which simply marks the point when a person was able to stop. Highlighted by how many negative consequences added up before it happened).

I bet this is where the people in the show might have been with their son, and were very frustrated? Maybe they even blamed him for failing rehab? 4 tries it hard on a family. Every family has to make their own decisions however so I hope they weren't shamed for their feelings. What happened at the end with the discussion?

But back to Dr Phil, yes, Its a valid concept supported by medical doctors, simply do an online search.

Bute

I think that we have to do what is right for ourselves. As has been said, there is different approaches, and different opinions - but for me, I have to go with what feels the right thing for me. What sits well with me. Make decisions that I know I am able to cope with, follow through with.
Not being disrespectful to Dr Phil, but TV shows are just that - TV shows. The reality of having an ALO, can be completely different.

Much Love
Bute x

atalose

I used to find Dr. Phil interesting when he first started out on TV. He brought subject matter to the main stream audience that wasn’t often seen or heard of prior. But over the years he’s become a “brand” of his own and selling that brand is now the theme. The last time I saw an episode he was pitching his and his son’s new idea of Dr. on demand, no fees until you actually talk with a doctor and from what I have seen on the internet they are some pretty hefty fees for minutes of consultations. Sadly, his show is not much different then Jerry Springer!

One aha moment I did have was seeing a show a long time ago where he discussed how when an individual consumes large quantities of alcohol daily for a long period of time and the loved ones are looking for that “sober time” to have a serious talk with them you have to realize that you are still trying to converse with an alcohol soaked brain. So just because they have not consumed yet that day doesn’t mean they are sober in any way shape or form to have a serious and meaningful conversation.

And I also liked when he told some parents that you “never give an addict money, I don’t care if their hair is on fire and they tell you they need to buy a fire extinguisher, never give an addict money.

But so many other talking points that seem to come out of both sides of his mouth that leaves much confusion especially to those newly throw into this horrific disease of addiction.

Anaya

Just another opinion to add to the thread -- it's likely, Dr. Phil, Dr. Drew, Dr. Oz, etc., -- those celebrities, who host talk shows -- are being directed to act accordingly in order to get ratings. I wouldn't take "advice" from these guys too seriously; perhaps it's better to pursue help outside the realm of TV talk shows.

I agree with what was said in earlier posts - that is, it seems this is more entertainment than anything.