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Old 03-16-2018, 05:16 PM   #1 (permalink)

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Financial Burdens

Just wondering how other families make it through all of the financial strains. I have a relative who has had their young adult child in about 4 rehabs so far and sober living. I can't imagine how much they have spent on their son. She is a doctor so there are funds there.
We on the other hand are not doctors. I am starting to get very stress at the thought of the financial strain that may be around the corner.
I found a rehab that is in network with our insurance. It is still $2000 out of pocket plus the cost of the interventionist. Plus I am not sure what to do with his apartment if he goes to rehab. Still owe 2 months rent on that before he has to move due to the lease being up. Plus he has pets that will need to be boarded while he is at rehab so that is a $600+ expense. I don't want to take the pets with me and then take them back. Long drives do not work well with me at all. We have an intervention set up for when the girlfriend leaves him and hope he will agree to go. Feeling this could be his rock bottom. If not, we are done and will cut ties. I don't pay any of his bills now just so that is known. He has money in his savings for the 2 months rent. However, after being in rehab and having no income not sure how he would pay for the sober living, etc.
How do families make it through all of these financial strains? Rehab, sober living, etc.

Last edited by Seren; 04-30-2018 at 03:16 AM.
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Ann (03-19-2018)
Old 03-17-2018, 01:55 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Good morning, Hummingbird!

I can only speak to what we did. The late Mr. Seren maintained the payments for his son's health insurance, even when his son was not working. So, that covered more than half of the payments for the rehab. Mr. Seren had a job that made sufficient money for us to cover the remainder.

The only time my stepson decided rehab was OK was during one of his hospital detox stays, and Mr. Seren was assisted by the social worker at the hospital.

At that time, my stepson was living with friends - so no apartment to deal with.

We have never hired an interventionist.

He went to sober living for a while after rehab, and paid for that out of the income from the job he got soon after rehab.

All of this while we were living a 9-hour drive away....
The ordinary acts we practice every day at home
are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.
~ St. Thomas More
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Ann (03-19-2018)
Old 03-19-2018, 03:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
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The Salvation Army has very good programs, from 3 months to a year usually, and they don't cost anything.

I am Canadian so our provincial health care covers many different kids of rehabs, and often the rehabs will help the person find a sober-living place once the program is complete.

If I had needed to pay for all my son's rehabs and treatments, I could not have afforded it. And as an adult, he would not have been covered under my private health plan.

Salvation Army rehabs, AA and NA meetings, and some addiction counseling are all low cost or free options.

I find that the success of any program, or any method of recovery, is directly related to the addict's willingness to do what needs to be done to get clean. Many get clean with no program at all, just a determination to stop using drugs.

Live your joy,
Go against the grain.
Don’t be made timid by worried rejection.
Let nature’s curious wisdom fill you.
Let the world’s mystical heritage guide you.
Paint your canvasses,
play your tunes.
~Thomas Moore
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Old 03-19-2018, 07:32 AM   #4 (permalink)

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So I can share what I did with my wife...

She went into detox under her medical plan... final bill to her was around $3000. That is her bill, and she will have to pay it or not.

Rehab was paid for under our insurance, with about $10k out-of-pocket for me... I paid it upfront and was able to get secured pricing not to exceed the amount agreed upon. The facility ate whatever was not covered by the insurance. Now that $10k I have told my wife is her's to repay. She had some cash from her final paychecks which I used to pay down her amount owing to me.

Sober Living... same deal as the rehab. But if they are there for more than 1 month, they are required to get a job and that is used to pay the rent. Also, many places have sliding scales that are based upon income.

Then there are all the other misc bills, for meds, dr visits, bills that ran late, back overdrafts, etc... Those are all her's to pay when and if she can find employment to repay. Some of the places she owes have agreed to payment plans, etc... just need to call and work them out.

There will also be the requirement to make amends to those that she stole from to support her addiction... not sure what the financial cost was there.

As for pets, she had two dogs... long story, but in the end, I gave them back to their previous owner citing that we could not take care of them.

All in all, I have done as little as possible to blunt the blow from the consequences that have resulted in her use. I have done what i can to minimize it (for example I have continued paying her car insurance and making the car payments because it helps her to have a car to attend meetings, etc...). But i have also not done others that would have saved additional pain (like not paying the bills and letting the student loan go into default, etc...).

For your son, you have to decide how much you are willing to do for him. For example, you can let his apartment go into default, but you may need to go there and clean it out so he does not lose all the contents when the eviction put-out occurs. Or you can let that happen. For the pets, take them in, see if friends can take them, or put them up for boarding and pay for it, or let the bill come due and make him work there to pay off the debt. There are many options, but i am not a fan of paying for their mistakes to help them minimize/avoid some of the consequences. i have already paid much during the addiction, I am not willing to pay to clean it up.

Again, if looking for ideas, PM me and we can discuss. There are many options, just have to figure out which do not enable and also help minimize future possible damage.

BTW, any money you front to cover the bills and expect to be repaid, treat it as gift in your mind as often money loaned to family/friends rarly gets repaid and by considering it a gift lets you not bear any ill regards to the person if they do not repay it.
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Old 03-19-2018, 10:08 AM   #5 (permalink)

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Insurance covered part of the rehab costs and my Inlaws paid the rest. My husband didn't complete the program.

Insurance has paid the majority of the hospital / doctor visits, medication, and therapy. The rest has come out of our savings and monthly income.

My family has also helped out in various ways. Providing temporary housing when we were in the process of moving / selling our home in another state was a financial blessing. We were short on transportation for a while also because one car was still in the other state. My family loaned a car and my brother went with my husband -actually flew back to the other state and drove our other car back filled with items that we still needed to move. At the same time they worked with the moving company to pack all of our things and get them on the road to us. (I was grateful my brother went along to help as it was a very stressful time).

Distance' made everything so much harder and more expensive.
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Spence7471 (03-19-2018)
Old 03-26-2018, 08:03 PM   #6 (permalink)

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As a young adult most children can go on the parents policy til there mid 20s. As an older adult late 20s and beyond it's on them. Who ever is paying should be sure the addict/alcoholic really wants it. They must want to get sober and change their ways. Rehab is not a timeout. Putting someone in rehab for the court system or pacify family or spouse won't cut it. The addict must really want it. It's not about trying they must want it. If funds simply are not available at least start an AA type organization or rehab. Maybe they can at least plant a seed so down the road they indeed realize how bad they need rehab and to be sober.

Good Luck
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Old 06-27-2018, 06:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Yup- its killing us financially and lucky us....we got a grandbaby during her last relapse. We love the child dearly but I really, really do not want to be a full time mother to an infant at my age. We are going to be lucky if we can retire at 90.
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