AS Very Sick-What Now?
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 146
AS Very Sick-What Now?
Haven't been here in a while. AS went no contact 3 years ago. He called early this month asking for money. I said no. Two weeks later, called again saying ER visit showed cirrhosis and that he was given 6 mos.-1 year to live. Says he is very scared of dying but still said he wasn't ready for inpatient rehab.
He is in another state, living with a friend. I can't travel easily, nor do I really want to. We've been through this before and nothing changed.
So I got info on a detox center and intake for Salvation Army program in his town. Left the details on his VM as well as in a letter I sent.
I do believe he is very sick - he was 3 years ago when he was here and he has made no changes in his drinking.
I guess I'm just venting here. There doesn't seem to be anything else I can do - he's almost 40. But I wonder if anyone has had to bring home an alcoholic child to die. There is no playbook for this scenario.
Bella(very)Blue
He is in another state, living with a friend. I can't travel easily, nor do I really want to. We've been through this before and nothing changed.
So I got info on a detox center and intake for Salvation Army program in his town. Left the details on his VM as well as in a letter I sent.
I do believe he is very sick - he was 3 years ago when he was here and he has made no changes in his drinking.
I guess I'm just venting here. There doesn't seem to be anything else I can do - he's almost 40. But I wonder if anyone has had to bring home an alcoholic child to die. There is no playbook for this scenario.
Bella(very)Blue
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i have no experience with alcoholic adult children, just an alcoholic parent who died from the disease. it's pretty awful. but the body is really amazing in how much it puts up with and for how long. too long it seems sometimes, with no bypass on suffering or agony.
he sounds fairly cognizant. notice his FIRST call was for money. now the call about his failing health. i am not suggesting that is not true, but he wouldn't be the first addict to play that card.
you did the best you could - you left contact information for help and assistance with recovery. the next steps are his. if he can call you, he can call them and ask for help.
it's an awful illness. i am sorry you must endure this.
he sounds fairly cognizant. notice his FIRST call was for money. now the call about his failing health. i am not suggesting that is not true, but he wouldn't be the first addict to play that card.
you did the best you could - you left contact information for help and assistance with recovery. the next steps are his. if he can call you, he can call them and ask for help.
it's an awful illness. i am sorry you must endure this.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 91
Hugs for you, Bella. He asks for money then two weeks later says he's got a year or less to live. And after receiving that news he still isn't ready for rehab. Could be the truth or he could be manipulating in the grand fashion of our addicted children. If you want to know what's really going on, get the name of his doctor and see if they will inform you of his condition. So sorry you find yourself within such circumstances but you're not alone. Keep posting and we all wish you the best.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 146
Not heard any more from him although I did call yesterday to see how he is. No answer, left VM.
Thanks for all the responses. It does help to know someone reads my post. I know there is nothing else I can do and I do pray for him daily as well as have others praying for him.
Feeling very sad and isolating myself except for Alanon meetings. That's the only place I feel people might understand. (Funny, but even there, people say, "I can't imagine what you are going through." There are a few people that have lost children to addiction.) Even going to church right now has little meaning. When people ask, "How are you," do they really want to hear that my son may be dying? This morning, listening to a newborn's cry catapulted me right back to his baby days and all that was happening with his A dad. So many, many years of this sh!t.
Thanks for all the responses. It does help to know someone reads my post. I know there is nothing else I can do and I do pray for him daily as well as have others praying for him.
Feeling very sad and isolating myself except for Alanon meetings. That's the only place I feel people might understand. (Funny, but even there, people say, "I can't imagine what you are going through." There are a few people that have lost children to addiction.) Even going to church right now has little meaning. When people ask, "How are you," do they really want to hear that my son may be dying? This morning, listening to a newborn's cry catapulted me right back to his baby days and all that was happening with his A dad. So many, many years of this sh!t.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Bella!
I am just reading about your AS, and I am so sorry. I know from my own stepson that the human body does have the amazing ability to heal itself--if the drinking stops.
And I understand what you mean about how to respond when someone asks you "How are you?". Most won't be able to handle the full truth. I got that question a lot, and still do, after my husband died. The best answer I could come up with for the bad days was "I'm hanging in there". It basically means, I got up today, I got dressed, I went to work, I fed myself.
Your son and you will be in my prayers, Bella! I hope that he will find a way to stop drinking--that this will be enough for him to stop. *sigh* Hang in there!!
I am just reading about your AS, and I am so sorry. I know from my own stepson that the human body does have the amazing ability to heal itself--if the drinking stops.
And I understand what you mean about how to respond when someone asks you "How are you?". Most won't be able to handle the full truth. I got that question a lot, and still do, after my husband died. The best answer I could come up with for the bad days was "I'm hanging in there". It basically means, I got up today, I got dressed, I went to work, I fed myself.
Your son and you will be in my prayers, Bella! I hope that he will find a way to stop drinking--that this will be enough for him to stop. *sigh* Hang in there!!
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