Trying to accept life with an AS
Hi! I am so glad I found this forum. It's solacing to know I am not alone. My son is 22 - his meth addiction started slowly a few years ago from him just "dabbling" to becoming a daily user. I have tried everything to help him, as I am sure many of you have experienced, it has not gone the way I had hoped. I hoped I could turn things around for him and give him a reason to stay sober. We have always been extremely close. In his attempts to stay close and to ease my fears, he would concede in attempts to stay close to me, but in the end the drug has had a stronger grasp on him then our bond did. I have had to learn painfully, that this drug will take anyone. He is kind, loving, smart, aware, but it doesn't matter - drugs take the ones you love. Now he is homeless living in the bushes down by a river in Northern California with other homeless drug addicts. He doesn't stay in touch with me much anymore. It is breaking my heart, I don't even know how it got to such a low point. I imagine it's some guilt he must be feeling and shame, but also he has made it clear he doesn't want me trying to save him - not with words but his actions. My question is, when do you know it's time to stop trying? How do you turn it off? To this day I want to go to him and help him get clean, remember who he was before this drug took control of his life. I don't know in what ways to let go, and in what ways to still hold on. Any advice would be deeply appreciated.