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-   -   I gained a healthy sober brother (thankfully), but lost my "drinking buddy" (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/family-members-addicts-alcoholics-parents-sons-daughters-siblings/407758-i-gained-healthy-sober-brother-thankfully-but-lost-my-drinking-buddy.html)

CorrineB 04-12-2017 10:08 PM

I gained a healthy sober brother (thankfully), but lost my "drinking buddy"
 
My brother is a heroin addict. He recently came clean and came to me for help. He went to rehab and is now in a sober living community doing very well, it seems. I am so very glad that he appears to be moving forward and building a better life for himself. The most important thing is that he is healthy, happy, and safe. Selfishly, though, I have other feelings about this too. We used to do a lot of things together. Camping, events/festivals, vacations, or just hanging out, having a few beers, talking about life. Now, if he follows typical protocol amd obstains from all mind-altering substances (which many say is the most effective way to maintain recovery), he won't be able to do those things anymore, and I will miss it. Its a very conflicting combination of emotions.

Ariesagain 04-12-2017 10:18 PM

You know, it is actually possible to do all those things without alcohol or drugs. Kids do it. Lots and lots of nondrinking and sober people do it...and enjoy it.

If you truly believe that alcohol is a prerequisite to enjoying life...maybe that's something to think about?

CorrineB 04-12-2017 11:04 PM

This is true. Kids do it. However, we don't have any. My friends and family do drink at these occasions. My point is not so much that he couldn't ever do these things sober, but that the temptation may be too great, and he will likely avoid these settings in the future.

SarahBear 04-13-2017 04:28 AM

It's much more fun to attend places sober, it makes memories easier to remember. Generally, I feel alcohol is a problem for people if they feel the need for it to "enjoy life". It take some time getting used to hanging around him sober.


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