I'm so disappointed in myself
 

Because I let my son's addiction and actions bring out some very ugly emotions and words from me tonight. I'm not proud of the things I said to him and his enabling girlfriend or the anger that filled my total being. I'm pretty sure tonight was the end of any relationship my husband and I will have with him going forward - we hit rock bottom. It's just so dam sad. I hate drug addiction and what it does to families. Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm sorry, allthatsgood. Addictions reduce us to the lowest possible level. Try not to beat yourself up. Things will be better in the morning.

ATG - I'm sorry for your feelings and break down last night. I hope things are looking clearer today.

I briefly skimmed through your threads to see what has happened to bring you to where you are today. It has been a long path, I'm sorry for that.

I hope that through this journey you have found either face-to-face meetings, a therapist or something else for yourself. It is helpful to realize (by real-live human beings) that you are not alone and that your recovery and sanity is what is important - to you.

You are in my thoughts.

Oh how I can relate. Long story short, I am currently not speaking to/interacting with my son's "fiancé". I have made it clear to my son that I will no longer respond to her texts or messages as I have "nothing to say". My son is struggling right now (with a slip that's turned into a relapse), but I have set some boundaries in that we will no longer be a revolving door for him to move back home for a day or two, only to return to her within 24-48 hours. every single time! So.....that being said - after years of dealing with his addiction and rehab/recovery/relapse, a TON of harsh words have been said. Including from my own mouth. Don't be so hard on yourself. this is TOUGH stuff we are trying to deal with and it HURTS! We feel so powerless and want to grab them and shake some sense into them. If only! No wonder we get angry and frustrated. Be kind to yourself. You are human, you have feelings, you are imperfect. We ALL are.........Many of these types of situations have happened with my son over the years and I can assure you that things settle down over time (as far as the anger goes) and that you are unlikely to scare him away.....he needs you too much, whether he wants to admit it or not....... Hugs!

Thanks everyone. Whitewingeddove- as long as he has his enabling girlfriend, who he lives with, he doesn't need or ask anything from us. At this point in his addiction, I think he's numb to any feelings about me and his Dad., which again is so sad to accept. I've lost hope that he will ever get on the path to recovery again. All the signs are there that he won't, including his willingness to walk away from his parents.

Please don't give up hope........where there is life, there is always hope.

My expectations are separate from my hope (low at this point), but I'm not going to give up hope that some day, things may change.

Hugs!

"Don't be so hard on yourself. this is TOUGH stuff we are trying to deal with and it HURTS! We feel so powerless and want to grab them and shake some sense into them. If only! No wonder we get angry and frustrated. Be kind to yourself. You are human, you have feelings, you are imperfect. We ALL are......."

Thanks for these words; it's exactly how I feel.

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