Ilovemysonjj

Thank you TF. I am numb and scared and powerless.

Ilovemysonjj

Update: He is alive at least. He messaged me that he would call me tonight at 6. I am relieved at least he is on the earth. I will post further when I get more information. the offer is on the table and its his to choose or not.

Morning Glory

StormiNormi

A man (or woman) woke up in HELL.
The devil tormented him/her with evil spirits;
Fear, temptation and guilt.
Everywhere he/she turned, was worse than the moment before.
He/She could hear loved ones calling from beyond.

There were magnificent walls ominously overshadowing any efforts he/she made to overcome these horrendous demons.
Apparently, there was noway out.

'GOD' he/she cried.

'GOD, Why don't you see me?'
'Why don't you save me?'

GOD answered... 'Look for the gates...
There are gates in every direction.'

' There are no locks on these gates;
they open from the inside'

Seren

I hope you were actually able to talk to your son, TT! I know how much it can mean just to hear a loved one's voice.

Ilovemysonjj

nope, he didn't call back. Its enough to know he is alive today. He totally knows where I stand and he hasn't chosen (at least at this exact moment) to reach out. Who knows what changes in 12 hours in the mind of an addict. I did message him to call me when he could. thank you everyone for the continued support. The prayers and support keep me grounded.

Whitewingeddove

I have to admit, when I read your post yesterday that he said he was going to call you later on, I wondered if he would.

My son does that frequently......both active and in recovery.....

It's one of my pet peeves when someone says they'll do something, and then doesn't follow through. sigh.....I am trying to get better at letting this type of stuff go

elissa1962

Just wanted to say that you are doing great. I know how hard this is, I am kind of in the same boat, but sometimes as they say in Naranon "doing nothing is doing something." So that's what I am doing. Hand in there. Prayers, Elissa

Ilovemysonjj

Yes this isn't any of our first Rodeo for sure. Thanks for hanging in there with me team. Doing nothing is a "hard" job.

GardenMama

Just seeing this T, and hope you are doing alright. I think it is possible to have boundaries and also keep a phone going. When my RAD was homeless and in active addiction, this was a way I kept my sanity--even if she called asking for something I couldn't or wouldn't give, we had a line of communication. Even if it took her a day or two to text me back, it helped me manage my anxiety somehow. I was glad to see that he is messaging you on FB, so perhaps that is enough. My daughter was on the road all over the place, so the phone helped me cope with that. Just another take on the issue.

I have you in my heart and prayers tonight. Doing nothing is really hard work. Hang in there.

Anaya

I also keep communication open and appreciate what you've posted. I'm grateful that, though I don't see my son much, we've been able to get in touch and communicate via text messages.

Ilovemysonjj

He also hasn't asked me for phone. I did offer to get him a renewal card but he said he lost his phone. I know that he is staying with a former rehab buddy who is probably not clean either. I sent another facebook message saying I love him and hope he is still considering detox.
Keep prayers going.

irisgardens

Glad you heard from him.

Have and am where you are frequently-but in 2014, after daughter cut me off for 7 months and got very very sick-plus after calling the police dept several months before that while in South America, working to regroup from complete financial loss-great recession AND two previous addicts (grateful they are functioning and handling their own lives now), and the police person explained (when I questioned about the wisdom of providing another phone for contact), that the phone would (not could or possible), but would be used to make drug contacts.

We learned until last May, when fell again (for a promised step that never occurred and in fact, has led to my AD getting worse and moving to streets and really just awful to see)...when we learnt again.

You are great to have held strong through the storm. It is quite wearying--glad, however, that you did hold strong and that you do have contact.

My husband goes weekly to search the streets around where she is, he buys her a sandwich and puts her on the phone to me. I simply say I love her, ask a few pertinent questions sometimes-as she was once a truth teller par excellence-although in complete denial about herself-still says some truthful things at times.

Although seems super hard and my emotions are pretty worn through and not feeling much hope, have also learned that cannot help her (we tried and all (not some-all) backfired)...so am living here for now.

Ilovemysonjj

Dear Iris, I am sorry to hear your AD refuses help. BUT she knows you are there when and if she decides she's had enough.
JJ reached out yesterday and said detox had a wait list. I called the rehab and they are agreeing to take him even though he isn't clean. This is great news, but now I have to wait for the next time JJ reaches out. Patience and faith is all I can count on.

irisgardens

Glad to hear!

Lindabar

I feel your fear. I am in the early stages of caring and supporting my daughter who has addiction. She came out of detox 2 days ago. She doesn't live with me and her case worker said I needed to go home. That with their support she needs to put things into practise. I am spending every second worrying and so scared. It's that unknown that is the worst but. She messaged this morning and is going in to uni. I'm not religious but am praying to someone to help.

Seren

Hi Linda, and Welcome!

I am sorry to hear about your daughter. I think we all completely understand the fear that you feel right now. Your heart breaks to see your precious child be so self destructive, and yet there really is nothing that you can do to control whether or not she stays on the path to recovery. That work is all hers to do.

I hope that you are seeking face-to-face help and support for yourself through all of this! You and your daughter will be in my prayers.

Brownstone

My son is hospitalized due to an overdose. There is so much waiting and fear.

Is there a family chat room here to talk?

Morning Glory

Welcome Brownstone,

I'm so sorry about your son.

We have a chat room, but there is no guarantee that family members will be chatting.

We do have a busy family substance abuse forum where you'll get lots of support. Start a new thread there and it should be really helpful. This forum is not as busy because it doesn't include spouses and partners.

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

CherryVanilla

I'm bad with names, so I'll start off saying that. My heart goes out to each of you who doesn't know where your son or dtr is or if they're alive. I had 24 hours when my son went AMA from detox and I was nearly catatonic with fear. I am lucky that he turned up at home (he was cold) looking for a heavier coat, gloves, etc and once i invited him in for a hot shower and breakfast he broke down about his life "wasn't supposed to be like this" and he wanted to go back to rehab. Thank God!!! And thank God they said he could go back. God bless and I hope your kids will accept your offer of helpin them get to treatment.