Blogs


Notices

Fear

Old 11-14-2016, 12:30 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,697
Thank you TF. I am numb and scared and powerless.
Ilovemysonjj is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ilovemysonjj For This Useful Post:
again2016 (12-15-2016), Anaya (11-17-2016)
Old 11-16-2016, 03:18 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,697
Update: He is alive at least. He messaged me that he would call me tonight at 6. I am relieved at least he is on the earth. I will post further when I get more information. the offer is on the table and its his to choose or not.
Ilovemysonjj is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Ilovemysonjj For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-01-2017), Anaya (11-17-2016), chicory (02-28-2017), GardenMama (11-18-2016), PlentyGood (04-14-2017)
Old 11-16-2016, 11:43 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Morning Glory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,657
Blog Entries: 2
Morning Glory is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Morning Glory For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-01-2017), Anaya (11-17-2016)
Old 11-17-2016, 12:30 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
A man (or woman) woke up in HELL.
The devil tormented him/her with evil spirits;
Fear, temptation and guilt.
Everywhere he/she turned, was worse than the moment before.
He/She could hear loved ones calling from beyond.

There were magnificent walls ominously overshadowing any efforts he/she made to overcome these horrendous demons.
Apparently, there was noway out.

'GOD' he/she cried.

'GOD, Why don't you see me?'
'Why don't you save me?'

GOD answered... 'Look for the gates...
There are gates in every direction.'

' There are no locks on these gates;
they open from the inside'
StormiNormi is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to StormiNormi For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-01-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), Ilovemysonjj (11-17-2016), irisgardens (12-16-2016)
Old 11-17-2016, 03:45 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,614
Blog Entries: 8
I hope you were actually able to talk to your son, TT! I know how much it can mean just to hear a loved one's voice.
Seren is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Seren For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-01-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), Ilovemysonjj (11-17-2016)
Old 11-17-2016, 11:22 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,697
nope, he didn't call back. Its enough to know he is alive today. He totally knows where I stand and he hasn't chosen (at least at this exact moment) to reach out. Who knows what changes in 12 hours in the mind of an addict. I did message him to call me when he could. thank you everyone for the continued support. The prayers and support keep me grounded.
Ilovemysonjj is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ilovemysonjj For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-01-2017), Anaya (11-18-2016), GardenMama (11-18-2016)
Old 11-17-2016, 12:22 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 177
I have to admit, when I read your post yesterday that he said he was going to call you later on, I wondered if he would.

My son does that frequently......both active and in recovery.....

It's one of my pet peeves when someone says they'll do something, and then doesn't follow through. sigh.....I am trying to get better at letting this type of stuff go
Whitewingeddove is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Whitewingeddove For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), Ilovemysonjj (11-17-2016)
Old 11-17-2016, 01:36 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Hauppauge, NY
Posts: 55
Just wanted to say that you are doing great. I know how hard this is, I am kind of in the same boat, but sometimes as they say in Naranon "doing nothing is doing something." So that's what I am doing. Hand in there. Prayers, Elissa
elissa1962 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to elissa1962 For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), Ilovemysonjj (11-17-2016)
Old 11-17-2016, 01:45 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,697
Yes this isn't any of our first Rodeo for sure. Thanks for hanging in there with me team. Doing nothing is a "hard" job.
Ilovemysonjj is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Ilovemysonjj For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), chicory (02-28-2017), GardenMama (11-18-2016), PlentyGood (04-14-2017)
Old 11-18-2016, 03:48 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
GardenMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
Just seeing this T, and hope you are doing alright. I think it is possible to have boundaries and also keep a phone going. When my RAD was homeless and in active addiction, this was a way I kept my sanity--even if she called asking for something I couldn't or wouldn't give, we had a line of communication. Even if it took her a day or two to text me back, it helped me manage my anxiety somehow. I was glad to see that he is messaging you on FB, so perhaps that is enough. My daughter was on the road all over the place, so the phone helped me cope with that. Just another take on the issue.

I have you in my heart and prayers tonight. Doing nothing is really hard work. Hang in there.
GardenMama is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to GardenMama For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (11-20-2016), PlentyGood (04-14-2017)
Old 12-15-2016, 02:50 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
 
Anaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,454
Originally Posted by GardenMama View Post
I think it is possible to have boundaries and also keep a phone going. When my RAD was homeless and in active addiction, this was a way I kept my sanity--even if she called asking for something I couldn't or wouldn't give, we had a line of communication.
I also keep communication open and appreciate what you've posted. I'm grateful that, though I don't see my son much, we've been able to get in touch and communicate via text messages.
Anaya is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Anaya For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Ilovemysonjj (12-15-2016)
Old 12-15-2016, 12:53 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,697
He also hasn't asked me for phone. I did offer to get him a renewal card but he said he lost his phone. I know that he is staying with a former rehab buddy who is probably not clean either. I sent another facebook message saying I love him and hope he is still considering detox.
Keep prayers going.
Ilovemysonjj is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ilovemysonjj For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (12-15-2016)
Old 12-16-2016, 06:37 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
 
irisgardens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 928
Glad you heard from him.

Have and am where you are frequently-but in 2014, after daughter cut me off for 7 months and got very very sick-plus after calling the police dept several months before that while in South America, working to regroup from complete financial loss-great recession AND two previous addicts (grateful they are functioning and handling their own lives now), and the police person explained (when I questioned about the wisdom of providing another phone for contact), that the phone would (not could or possible), but would be used to make drug contacts.

We learned until last May, when fell again (for a promised step that never occurred and in fact, has led to my AD getting worse and moving to streets and really just awful to see)...when we learnt again.

You are great to have held strong through the storm. It is quite wearying--glad, however, that you did hold strong and that you do have contact.

My husband goes weekly to search the streets around where she is, he buys her a sandwich and puts her on the phone to me. I simply say I love her, ask a few pertinent questions sometimes-as she was once a truth teller par excellence-although in complete denial about herself-still says some truthful things at times.

Although seems super hard and my emotions are pretty worn through and not feeling much hope, have also learned that cannot help her (we tried and all (not some-all) backfired)...so am living here for now.
irisgardens is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to irisgardens For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), PlentyGood (04-14-2017)
Old 12-16-2016, 12:09 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,697
Dear Iris, I am sorry to hear your AD refuses help. BUT she knows you are there when and if she decides she's had enough.
JJ reached out yesterday and said detox had a wait list. I called the rehab and they are agreeing to take him even though he isn't clean. This is great news, but now I have to wait for the next time JJ reaches out. Patience and faith is all I can count on.
Ilovemysonjj is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ilovemysonjj For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), irisgardens (12-16-2016)
Old 12-16-2016, 01:17 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Member
 
irisgardens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 928
Glad to hear!
irisgardens is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to irisgardens For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017)
Old 02-26-2017, 07:48 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 2
I'm scared too

I feel your fear. I am in the early stages of caring and supporting my daughter who has addiction. She came out of detox 2 days ago. She doesn't live with me and her case worker said I needed to go home. That with their support she needs to put things into practise. I am spending every second worrying and so scared. It's that unknown that is the worst but. She messaged this morning and is going in to uni. I'm not religious but am praying to someone to help.
Lindabar is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Lindabar For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), chicory (02-28-2017), Seren (02-27-2017)
Old 02-27-2017, 03:42 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Seren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,614
Blog Entries: 8
Hi Linda, and Welcome!

I am sorry to hear about your daughter. I think we all completely understand the fear that you feel right now. Your heart breaks to see your precious child be so self destructive, and yet there really is nothing that you can do to control whether or not she stays on the path to recovery. That work is all hers to do.

I hope that you are seeking face-to-face help and support for yourself through all of this! You and your daughter will be in my prayers.
Seren is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Seren For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017)
Old 02-27-2017, 10:32 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 24
My son is hospitalized due to an overdose. There is so much waiting and fear.

Is there a family chat room here to talk?
Brownstone is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Brownstone For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017)
Old 02-27-2017, 01:43 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Morning Glory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,657
Blog Entries: 2
Welcome Brownstone,

I'm so sorry about your son.

We have a chat room, but there is no guarantee that family members will be chatting.

We do have a busy family substance abuse forum where you'll get lots of support. Start a new thread there and it should be really helpful. This forum is not as busy because it doesn't include spouses and partners.

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Morning Glory is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Morning Glory For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017)
Old 02-27-2017, 02:39 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 254
I'm bad with names, so I'll start off saying that. My heart goes out to each of you who doesn't know where your son or dtr is or if they're alive. I had 24 hours when my son went AMA from detox and I was nearly catatonic with fear. I am lucky that he turned up at home (he was cold) looking for a heavier coat, gloves, etc and once i invited him in for a hot shower and breakfast he broke down about his life "wasn't supposed to be like this" and he wanted to go back to rehab. Thank God!!! And thank God they said he could go back. God bless and I hope your kids will accept your offer of helpin them get to treatment.
CherryVanilla is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CherryVanilla For This Useful Post:
again2016 (03-05-2017), Anaya (03-10-2017), chicory (02-28-2017)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:32 AM.