Stewy84

Hey guys,

I've been off work today and had a fairly productive morning, did a work out, mowed the lawn, cleaned the house and now seeing my sister. My girlfriend phoned me this morning just asking for her money back from the gig that she missed last night. I transferred her the money and that was that.

I'm still ruminating about the whole situation at the moment, I am doing my best to stay busy and keep my mind focused however thoughts are seeping in about the what ifs and going over old arguments.

I still don't get why things have actually turned out like this, I have a feeling things may deteriorate before they get better especially with regards to the shared house.

I am of course not in contact still, the call earlier was made by her and was regarding gig ticket payment

Stewy84

Finished work for the week now, just seen my daughter and we went out for tea. Quiet night tonight I'm a bit tired and just glad to be home

Hawkeye13

You are doing an excellent job Stewy--as you said,
expect the worst, hope for the best, and rebuild your life for yourself.

If the relationship is rekindled, that's a wonderful bonus,
but you have to live with you for the rest of your life.
I think giving yourself time, space, and attention is
a worthwhile investment however things turn out with GF--

Stewy84

Thanks hawkeye, I have been feeling good when just focusing on myself and being mindful.

I got a text late last night from her and I replied very casually this morning. I'm not initiating any sort of contact but I do think it's polite to at least respond to a text.

It's kind of unsettling initially receiving a message / contact but today I've just reverted back to my original plan. Ive managed to eliminate junk food from my diet this week too which has been an added bonus.

I feel strong

Hevyn

Really glad to hear of your success with the plan, Stewy.

JD

I'm happy for you stewy. You're doing really well.

Refiner

So good to hear, Stewy! Keep on keepin' on.

Stewy84

Girlfriend returned to the house tonight. She was annoyed I had not been in touch saying she was expecting me to ask about going to the gig last week (this is after she wanted nothing to do with me the previous week)

I stood my ground and explained I had only did be what she had requested which was give her space.

She did not like it when I said the initial willingness to sort it out has to come from her.

I can do nothing else but to revert to my plan of not getting in touch, I thought the time would soften her emotions however it appears it is as fresh as the just over 3 weeks ago when she moved out.

I feel calm though, I simply stated my point again, she has a family funeral tomorrow which I was aware of. Looks like it's back to no contact

Refiner

Good for standing your ground, Stewy. She sounds like a high-maintenance, spoiled BRAT to me! This "cooling off / giving her space" thing is likely doing YOU more good than her, LOL. What a piece of work...

Spacegoat

Sounds good on your side of the street Stewy, how did you get along with the book?

Stewy84

Thanks refiner

I'm about half way through the book it's been a really good read so far. I've picked up certain things that are helping me with my thinking along with some developmental videos about the subject I found on you tube.

The funeral of my girlfriends uncle took place yesterday, I imagine she is upset and not in a good place. I did speak to her on Monday just to say I would be thinking about her. I kept it simple and have applied zero pressure whatsoever.

I'm still using my time wisely to work on myself and set some personal goals, I think that is key for me at the moment

Stewy84

I'm getting a bit tired of all of this now, I thought it would be all sorted either way by now but it does seem to be dragging on.

I know I need to stay no contact and I have to stay consistent with it

Spacegoat

I'm the same. Legal proceedings were my only hope, it took me a very long time to see that though.

Support groups are good Stewy, have you sought out any?

Stewy84

No I haven't as yet do you think it would help the situation / me?

Seeing my daughter today, taking her to gym class then spending the rest of the day with her. Girlfriend still on my mind I last saw her Monday and that was mainly just her appearing to have a go at me.

I started the day with good intent today, had a workout and healthy breakfast. I ended the working week well by beginning an application for a new job which will be a step up from what I'm doing.

I still stand by that it is my girlfriends decision to try and start the reconciliation ball rolling as it was her who asked for the space initially. I do feel like I have been fed scraps of communication since then which is not enough for me to think for any reason she intends to make an effort to address things. I have to move forward and not look back.

I'm going to watch the euros tonight and play some guitar!

Stewy84

Just to update my frame of mind today has slipped a little and I've been thinking a lot about my girlfriend and the current state of play. Sad to say but I've been looking at things negatively.

Having space to me is using the time wisely to hopefully eventually reach a conclusion of at least have the time for clarity. The way it is going I think we're only ending up even more confused.

I saw my girlfriend on Monday, she was stressed understandably due to her uncles funeral the following day, looked like she needed a hug. Still angry at me though. I don't think she would know how to reach out at this stage even if she wanted to. She always got frustrated at a few hours of radio silence and it's been a hell of a lot longer in patches this last month.

I really do t know what to do for the best

Spacegoat

"To thine own self be true"

Yeah man. Much like here except in real life, yano? Co-dependants anonymous is the one I'm thinking of, there are parenting support groups out there also.