JennaRoseMadre

I wrote on Friday about a scare I had when the police came to my door and were asking about my car (that my son uses). I thought he'd been killed in an accident, the way they were behaving. I started to panic, shake, etc. He had not been in an accident, he was still at work, but his car was stolen and used in a crime. That's the very short version.

Since then I'm not sleeping through the night, am having dreams of that day but in the dream they say yes he was killed. During the three-day weekend I've been ok daytime because others were home with me. But today the others are at work, I'm home alone, and I keep feeling panic. Hands shake, heart pounds. I have to get up and walk up and down the stairs, do deep breathing to calm down. It happens for no reason at all and if I hear a car outside or a siren or when the phone rang. Basically on and off all day long.

(I have a therapist, she's on vacation, and I've tried to do everything she's taught me to do. Had a long talk with my sister-in-law, that helped, but now I feel it starting up again.)

Does anyone have any experience with panic attacks?

Anaya

Thinking of you and hoping today is a calm and peaceful one.

I sure do understand that panic attacks may be disabling and will also share that in years past, the daily ordeal consumed my energy and focus. I even panicked just thinking about having another panic attack! It was draining.

Learning to become aware of my thought process leading up to panic attacks and working on "retraining my brain" (over time) was helpful for me; mostly, it was very comforting to realize that I could change and eventually move past the panic attacks.

Crossing fingers that what you learn in therapy as well as support from your sister-in-law and this website will be helpful for you. (The Serenity Prayer may be helpful, too.)

JennaRoseMadre

I think everyone on here has been through so much. I wish we all could be as we were before drugs/alcohol touched our lives.

A couple of weeks ago there was a police car parked across the street from my house when I came home from work. I had no idea why it was there. I was home alone and kept going from room to room, looking out the windows, trying to figure out WHY they were there. Then I started to panic again, and I was thirsty - and I know this is totally unreasonable, but I thought I could not drink any water because "what if" - what if they came to my door and arrested me (I have NO idea why I would be arrested, but they sure as hell enjoyed scaring the hell out of me back in May over the stolen car, so why not torture me a little more, maybe?) and if they arrested me, would they let me use a bathroom? So I could not drink water, because I was afraid I'd have to pee!

I hate this nightmare. My therapist and I are working through this, but sometimes I WANT TO SCREAM!

Seren

Hi JennaRose,

I'm so sorry you had a bad day!

I hope you and your therapist can work through this so that your days will be more peaceful and joy-filled. You deserve that!

And I don't think the police exist just to torture you? You had not done anything wrong. Perhaps a neighbor called to report a theft and the officer was there to take that information?

Hopefully you and your therapist are working on tools to help you calm yourself in these situations. I know how scary a panic attack can be. I've had one or two in the past, and they are overwhelming!!

How is everything going otherwise? How is your son?

JennaRoseMadre

I later found out that the police were across the street because someone who lived in that house died (had been ill). In one sense I knew the police being there had nothing to do with me, but because of a past incident where they showed up at my house and scared the hell out of me (my son's car had been stolen and involved in a crime, but they didn't tell me that part, they were just asking questions about "who drives the car?" and when I asked if there'd been an accident, was my son in an accident, is my son hurt... and finally IS MY SON DEAD??? and the just smirked at me ... well I have lost all respect for them. My therapist has diagnosed PTSD. I just had another episode on Monday. I had to go pay a parking ticket... and being in the police building set me off on a panic attack. It's terrible to live this way.

The good news is that my son is doing very well. He's working, going to meetings etc... all the things he should. Thank you for asking!!