Did I cause him to have his first seizure?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 29
Did I cause him to have his first seizure?
Saturday was his birthday and I wanted to spend a few hours with him sober before he got drunk. He had gone 45 days sober and from no where earlier last week started drinking again. I thought if I got to him before getting to the liquor store at 9am, we could have a nice breakfast for his birthday. I have boundaries that I can't be around him when his drinking or drunk, so Saturday morning I got to him, just minutes before the liquor store opened and picked him up before he could buy anything. We went out for breakfast but he was out of it. I was trying to make light of it and try and have him enjoy the day. We didn't stay long because he started to get sick. He pretty much threw up all morning. By lunch time he wanted to go to an AA meeting, so happily I took him. When we got back he started to work a little. I could tell he was agitated, sweating and anxious. I asked if he was going through withdrawal and he said yes. All of a sudden he looked up at the ceiling as if something was coming after him, looking very scared and went into a seizure. I was terrified to say the least. I run outside to get help from nieghbours and called 911. After 10mins or so the seizure stopped and he was so confused and didn't recognize anyone, not even me his ex-fiancé. He couldn't remember my name or even the year we are in. He has been in the hospital 2 days now, feeling better and his memory working again. I can't help feeling like I caused it all, the seizure. I feel horrible and so responsible. I should have let him drink...
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Did you make him an alcoholic, and by that I am saying did you specifically buy alcohol and force him to drink it or else? No?
Then you're not responsible for his seizure from withdrawal.
Are you going to Al-Anon or getting therapy to understand codependency? You went through all this effort to try to spend a couple of hours with him when he might be sober...in other words, to protect him from himself and his own choices. You can't...all any of us can do is keep our own wagons on the road.
Sending you a hug.
Then you're not responsible for his seizure from withdrawal.
Are you going to Al-Anon or getting therapy to understand codependency? You went through all this effort to try to spend a couple of hours with him when he might be sober...in other words, to protect him from himself and his own choices. You can't...all any of us can do is keep our own wagons on the road.
Sending you a hug.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 43
I hate addiction as well and no you didn't cause anything. I totally understand wanting to get to them before they get drunk or high. We want to have a relationship with them as so we grasp at any time we can get with them. I'm so sorry the seizure happened, but you had no control of it. Hugs to you!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I should have let him drink...
since when is that YOUR call to make? drinking is what is KILLING him.....and is still a choice HE makes. it's not your job to try and manage his calendar. or even his life. so the guilt isn't helping anyone. he is exactly where he needs to be right now.
since when is that YOUR call to make? drinking is what is KILLING him.....and is still a choice HE makes. it's not your job to try and manage his calendar. or even his life. so the guilt isn't helping anyone. he is exactly where he needs to be right now.
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