Do I still love him?
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 3
Do I still love him?
My husband and I have always had a very tight, amazing marriage... The last year he changed...never left the house except for work..he always said it was because he was tired and we have two young kids etc.. I carried on busy with the kids and work..I don't think I realised how much I was doing and how introverted he became.. Then in October he had a nervous breakdown and I found out he was an a alcoholic. He is residentially being treated and we haven't seen him for 5 weeks and he has another 5 to go. I'm struggling, I wonder how it will be when he comes home. I do love him but I can't imagine our relationship being the same and I don't know if I can take it... I am desperately sad he has been so unwell don't get me wrong...I'm just terrified of my own feelings toward him. God I sound like a bitch. Just being honest as I can't say those words out loud to anyone.
Hi Clemmie, Welcome!
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's struggles. Alcoholism is a 'family disease' in that the alcoholic is not the only one impacted. Sometimes life just takes over, and these small changes in our lives add up over time to become large issues in a marriage. As far as working out the relationship with your husband, no decisions need to be made today--right now.
While your husband still has 5 weeks in treatment, you might use this time to seek help for yourself. I know, I know..."I'm not the one with the problem!" Still, his drinking has impacted you and probably your children (more than you might imagine) during this past year.
Take your time, take care of yourself and your children. When your husband returns from his time in in-patient rehab, he will still be very raw, and it might be good if you have your own support network in place apart from him.
Joining SR is a good place to start! Really, there are many people here who understand exactly what you are thinking and feeling--because they have been there, too.
Keep reading, keep posting! I'm glad you are here, although terribly sorry for the reasons why.
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's struggles. Alcoholism is a 'family disease' in that the alcoholic is not the only one impacted. Sometimes life just takes over, and these small changes in our lives add up over time to become large issues in a marriage. As far as working out the relationship with your husband, no decisions need to be made today--right now.
While your husband still has 5 weeks in treatment, you might use this time to seek help for yourself. I know, I know..."I'm not the one with the problem!" Still, his drinking has impacted you and probably your children (more than you might imagine) during this past year.
Take your time, take care of yourself and your children. When your husband returns from his time in in-patient rehab, he will still be very raw, and it might be good if you have your own support network in place apart from him.
Joining SR is a good place to start! Really, there are many people here who understand exactly what you are thinking and feeling--because they have been there, too.
Keep reading, keep posting! I'm glad you are here, although terribly sorry for the reasons why.
((Clemmie))
Welcome to our SR family
I hate so much that your family has been affected by this disease - it is heartbreaking and scary for all. But congrats to you for seeking help for yourself - you deserve it!
There are many resources, SR, counseling, Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery and other groups that help those of us who have been affected by someone who has the disease of alcoholism.
For me, using these resources truly saved my life - mentally, emotionally and physically.
I hope that you will stay with us & see what helps you.
wishing you & yours the very best
pink hugs,
Welcome to our SR family
I hate so much that your family has been affected by this disease - it is heartbreaking and scary for all. But congrats to you for seeking help for yourself - you deserve it!
There are many resources, SR, counseling, Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery and other groups that help those of us who have been affected by someone who has the disease of alcoholism.
For me, using these resources truly saved my life - mentally, emotionally and physically.
I hope that you will stay with us & see what helps you.
wishing you & yours the very best
pink hugs,
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