5 years later, the circle in the sand is currently coming back to the honeymoon perio
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 17
5 years later, the circle in the sand is currently coming back to the honeymoon perio
(As a new member this was posted yesterday, I think the wrong section of the site) Venting, I know I'm not aline
5 years later countless assaults, thousands of pounds of damages, public humiliations, theft, bank theft, broken into, accused, manipulated, beaten up by others with his lies, job controlled, broke and broken. The family name was to be protected so much so even AA and Al anon was controlled and manipulated. FB assassination time and time again. Where are we at today? Its all my fault, angry, nasty finger pointing, trying to prise me with booze and drugs to mess with my head, kept awake for days on end a shaking mess willing to do anything for peace. Picked him off the floor, he pushed me down the stairs, cowered in the bedroom with my dd he attempts to set fire to my house down stairs only after trashing my living room again.*
Word on the street, I'm a drama queen, psychopath not him. He wanted me to drop bail, I managed but still nothing is ever good enough. He wants us to lie in court.*
I don't have the strength anymore.
No one helps, woman's aid don't want to know as I don't make police statements.
I know he's home from the pub now, back to his caravan, lived in for a month, no one there to point fingers at so the texts have started.
When and at what point does the adrenaline high stop and I can switch off and be calm? I feel like a deflating helium balloon when I don't hear from him and flipping irritated when I do.
Its a game now, addicted to this tit for tat verbal abuse throwing, but when I get the sober call in the morning with the promise of straight back to mine after work, it seems a relief to then be apart of his game.
My heads throbbing with tension, anxiety, angina yet I'm " making it up"
5 years later countless assaults, thousands of pounds of damages, public humiliations, theft, bank theft, broken into, accused, manipulated, beaten up by others with his lies, job controlled, broke and broken. The family name was to be protected so much so even AA and Al anon was controlled and manipulated. FB assassination time and time again. Where are we at today? Its all my fault, angry, nasty finger pointing, trying to prise me with booze and drugs to mess with my head, kept awake for days on end a shaking mess willing to do anything for peace. Picked him off the floor, he pushed me down the stairs, cowered in the bedroom with my dd he attempts to set fire to my house down stairs only after trashing my living room again.*
Word on the street, I'm a drama queen, psychopath not him. He wanted me to drop bail, I managed but still nothing is ever good enough. He wants us to lie in court.*
I don't have the strength anymore.
No one helps, woman's aid don't want to know as I don't make police statements.
I know he's home from the pub now, back to his caravan, lived in for a month, no one there to point fingers at so the texts have started.
When and at what point does the adrenaline high stop and I can switch off and be calm? I feel like a deflating helium balloon when I don't hear from him and flipping irritated when I do.
Its a game now, addicted to this tit for tat verbal abuse throwing, but when I get the sober call in the morning with the promise of straight back to mine after work, it seems a relief to then be apart of his game.
My heads throbbing with tension, anxiety, angina yet I'm " making it up"
Last edited by utterlybroken; 10-30-2015 at 05:42 AM. Reason: spelling
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 17
I find it exhausting dealing with the smirks having to explain to folk why I stayed, why I kept going back. I look like a victim I refuse, I'm a survivor. But I look broken, he was/is my addiction. I have no friends, family have detached from me. He's good, very good. Everyones mate, "no, not him" so I'm left silenced. It eats away at me, I can't think or talk about anything else, I have no upbeat stories to share, I feel folk see me coming and think oh god, here she comes.
At the moment, his fathers moved out of his home, downgraded and given away all his furniture, he's gone around 4 pubs offering it out and delivering it, me? I got nothing, my living rooms trashed not even a TV for the kids, but "oh, not him, he's a great guy
At the moment, his fathers moved out of his home, downgraded and given away all his furniture, he's gone around 4 pubs offering it out and delivering it, me? I got nothing, my living rooms trashed not even a TV for the kids, but "oh, not him, he's a great guy
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
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You aren't crazy, Utterly Broken. But you can stop the cycle.
http://www.gnb.ca/0012/violence/PDF/EndingAbuse-e.pdf
http://www.gnb.ca/0012/violence/PDF/EndingAbuse-e.pdf
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
No one helps, woman's aid don't want to know as I don't make police statements.
how can they if you don't speak the truth about the situation?
how can they if you don't speak the truth about the situation?
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
but you refuse to make a formal statement or file a complaint against your husband. and i'm sure you have your reasons, but often the system requires the victim take certain steps which then opens the doorways.....i hope you find the peace you seek and the help you need.
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