Looking for a friend

Old 02-13-2015, 06:26 PM
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Looking for a friend

My son had had some great sober days. He is 21. Really doing outpatient going to meetings at night. He has a huge group of friends. So tonight these helpful guys txtvthem. They miss him as they are down the shore doing the polar plunge tomorrow. So hard for him I know they don't understand the disease. But he is not sitting here with a broken leg. I wish I could scream at them and say understand addiction a little. Maybe than txt over drinking wouldn't happen. Damn. The co dependent coming out but he is trying so hard right now I try to do some family stuff but by 9 pm. I am a wet noodle.

I know he has to find his way. These are good old boys he has been friends with since grade school, that work hard and finishing up last year in college. No drugs but do the drinking as this age does. I get it. I hurt for him today.
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Old 02-13-2015, 09:05 PM
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I know exactly where you're coming from, Rosie. It's so painful when our children have to be isolated because of this disease. I try to rationalize it by thinking about the future, hoping this is just a bump in the road. I hope they will have the tools to help them get back in society but with a new perspective and in control.
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Old 02-14-2015, 04:19 AM
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Hi Rosie,

It really is impossible for people who have never experienced addiction in their family or in themselves to understand. Maybe this was an event that was triggering for your son, maybe not. But, he will ultimately have to learn to socialize with and be around people who can drink in moderation. He will learn to pick and choose his battles and learn to either accept or decline social invitations depending on how he is feeling at that time.

I know you want to make this easy for him--to take the pain and struggle away--but you can't. He can, though, with time and effort. This is just the start of a lifelong road for your son.

Sending massive hugs and prayers for you and your son! Hang in there!!
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Old 02-15-2015, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Seren View Post
Hi Rosie,

It really is impossible for people who have never experienced addiction in their family or in themselves to understand. Maybe this was an event that was triggering for your son, maybe not. But, he will ultimately have to learn to socialize with and be around people who can drink in moderation. He will learn to pick and choose his battles and learn to either accept or decline social invitations depending on how he is feeling at that time.

I know you want to make this easy for him--to take the pain and struggle away--but you can't. He can, though, with time and effort. This is just the start of a lifelong road for your son.

Sending massive hugs and prayers for you and your son! Hang in there!!
Thank you Seren.....I appreciate you
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Old 02-15-2015, 07:46 AM
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I understand. My son had to stop seeing most of his so-called friends because they do drugs. He has very few friends left and it breaks my heart but it would be worse if he was still hanging out with them.
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