Re-Posted: Ways to Protect You, Your Home & Your Resources

Old 02-13-2015, 03:15 AM
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Re-Posted: Ways to Protect You, Your Home & Your Resources

Sometimes, sharing a home with an active addict family member comes with special risks to home and finances. A few years ago, one of our Moderators shared ways to protect your home and finances from what has worked for her over the years. I thought it would be appropriate to re-post this information here:

Originally Posted by MsPINKAcres
Ways to Protect You, Your Home & Your Resources

My Friends - since I have yet to find the "How to Protect Yourself Handbook" to be given to parents/family/friends of those who are affected by the disease of alcoholism/addiction ~ I believe it is always great for the members of SR to share their e, s, & h for us to learn how to safe guard ourselves, prevent futher damage to our lives and help us feel safe.

Over the years, I have gotten many suggestions on how to do these things - thought it might be helpful to have a list of these things on one thread that maybe some of our newer members might would like to read and when they are ready they could take these actions

~ As always, when You are ready ~
Everyone must recovery and progress on their own timeframe.

So please, add your safety measures to the list - please know it is not to be mean, harmful or angry - it is just what I personally have learned that turned out to be healthier for ME and allows the addict/alcoholic the opportunity to seek something better for themselves. . .

1. I contacted my pharmacy - My picture ID is required anytime I pick-up a prescription. No one is allowed to get my prescription for me.

2. My Dr's ofc knows to not call in any medication for me unless I specificially call for it. No one else in my family will call for me.

3. All my meds (even non-narcotic) are locked in a safe.

4. I use a small, locally owned bank - the tellers would know if someone besides me tried to withdraw money from my account. (I made sure to become their friend

5. My windows are locked always and so are the doors - and no extra key kept outside.

6. My extra checks stay locked in my filing cabinet at work instead of my home.

7. All phones, bills, video rental places, credit cards, etc. no one can be added without prior approval from me, in person with photo id.

This is just to name a few - what do you do to protect yourself - what would you suggest to the newcomer??????

PINK HUGS to all

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Old 02-13-2015, 03:44 AM
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When my stepson was 'running and gunning' during his fun-filled crack days, my husband took anything of value to his office: bonds, important papers, heirloom silver cutlery, checkbook, debit/credit cards, and so on. He also had some mail re-directed to his office because he occasionally receives checks in the mail for free-lance writing.

After "Jr." left the house, the locks were changed and the alarm code reset.

It seems so painful to have to do these things, but we all have the right to protect ourselves and our finances.
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Old 02-13-2015, 09:09 PM
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If I suspected my son was going to sneak out at night, I'd hide all the car keys. I would also put barriers in front of doors so that I could hear him move things to try to get out.
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Old 02-14-2015, 04:10 AM
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It's an awfully stressful job to feel like you have to be your son's jailer, INgal! I'm sorry!

I know people who sleep/have slept with their purses and keys under their pillows. That must be very uncomfortable...

Can you get a small safe or lockbox so that you don't always have be on guard?
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Old 02-14-2015, 04:43 AM
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Seren, luckily he has moved past this stage. This was a few years ago when he actually had a lot of friends. He really doesn't see anyof them anymore. His girlfriend is not a Partiers so that helps also. He is a perfectly rational human being unless he's drunk. I do keep his medications hidden lest he decides he doesn't want to take them anymore. My husband was wondering if there was a "fake Antabuse" out there. People could switch the active ones with a lookalike placebo. I had to laugh at that!
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Old 02-19-2015, 03:12 PM
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make them clean up their mess

Should mention beside valuables you need to secure or protect your home and stuff if an addict/alkie is living with you. Make sure they clean up the room and areas they use and respect your property. Observe how they treat your stuff. Here we're having problems getting an adult alkie/addict to clean up the rooms he uses and not treat everything as disposable. He simply doesn't give a crap. To him if it's not the top of line of what ever, a toaster, hair dryer, tv it's 'junk' and there for disposable. Never minding price tags got him half way in the hole he is in now. He's got spots on the carpet in the room he is using and it's eh 'you need a new one anyway'. His attitude is it's old it's disposable and doesn't matter how its' treated. Telling or even pointing out something to an adult is much harder than a child or teenager because the adult is beyond the rebel stage. Unchallenged for long periods of time validates their bad habits along with entrenching them.

Also keep tabs on the utility bills. Goes without saying but think very hard before loaning them your vehicle as well. Never make gratuitous open ended offers of assistance because many will take you up on them times 10.

Protect and/or watch your physical stuff to protect it from abuse.
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Old 02-20-2015, 04:10 PM
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you make some points which really hit home for me TQ. i don't like clutter and find myself being the only one cleaning because i can't stand it!!! in fact i decided to post right now because i'm afraid i'm about to totally lose it on my ras! work full-time and in order to cook, or even relax, i just spent an hour and a half after work on a friday cleaning the kitchen..... the reason it was out of control is because i strained my back shoveling snow last weekend and didn't keep up with it through the week like i usually do.

did not put me in a very good mood i'll tell ya. i said what i meant and meant what i said and didn't say it mean to him - BUT - it seems to me the attitude is 'you like it clean so you clean'.....

so much has improved that i guess i felt it was a minor thing. it's not. he is recuperating from surgery but even when he's not he doesn't pull his weight unless told to. needs to change...

Originally Posted by thequest View Post
Make sure they clean up the room and areas they use and respect your property. Observe how they treat your stuff.

Also keep tabs on the utility bills.

Protect and/or watch your physical stuff to protect it from abuse.
protecting physical stuff is also a point i needed to hear. there is a bit of 'it's all old so so what' attitude. yeah it's old but it's mine and supporting your butt doesn't allow me to replace it so don't abuse the stuff!!! and i did put my foot down about ac and heat use.

so thanks thequest - important points made for sure. and thank you SR for being here for me to vent! i needed that tonight - and i feel better!

i for one have worked hard for years to be able to live the life i want. addiction in a loved one shouldn't change that for the worse for any of us! demand respect people! (sorry. got carried away!)
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