Help me please

Old 02-12-2015, 03:51 AM
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Help me please

It comes in the mail my ad thinks he can write a check and cash it at a bank. The bank soes it he gets money. Now negative balance. Here I am in the thick of it. My name on that account. Oh my god I am so scared for him. He and his brother paid it off now. His 20 yr old brother getting pulled in. So many ways. I can't breathe. What next. Does it just keep punching you in te face..... I can't find a higher source. I shut my eyes but it's empty.
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Old 02-12-2015, 04:24 AM
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I'm sorry, i'm not sure I understand, Rosie...did your son cash a bad check on a joint account with you? Did he forge one of your checks to cash? How is his brother involved?

Do you think he is using the money for drugs or alcohol?

I'm sorry you are in pain, Rosie! I wish I could tell you that your son will magically stop using, stop lying, stop doing things to hurt himself and others. My experience with addicted family members suggests it could be a long struggle.

I hope you can take steps to protect yourself and that your 20 yo son will also take steps to protect himself.

Sending hugs and prayers for you all!
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Old 02-12-2015, 04:43 AM
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He and I had an account we used for college. My name and his. Nothing in it but few bucks. He also opened another bank account closer to school. He wrote a check knowing there was no cash in that account and put it thru Mac machine as withdrawal. Mac gave him cash. Now account has negative balance. I Sid close account cause my name was on it. He and his brother took cash up to bank and made it right. My middle son is helping and scared for his brother. I gotta get him help
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Old 02-12-2015, 05:02 AM
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My 20 yr old use to party on and off with his brother. Says he has no issue with drug of choice. They are best friends to. The things you hope for as a mom but not now......I have been trying to teach him about enabling. This bank issue goes back to the day he relapsed but just now getting notices in mail He has been working hard and has had no money last week now I know why.
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Old 02-12-2015, 03:23 PM
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Dear Rosie,
This happened to my RAD in her 3rd year at college. I was paying all her bills, books, food,
Sorority fees, then all of a sudden checks started coming thru written out to "her" and
signed by "me". Hummm, I didn't write that. Sadly stealing from the one who loves you the
most doesn't matter to addiction. That was my first hint that something was "off" with her.
I started locking up and keeping better track of my valuable possessions. That was the
beginning of my rollercoaster ride. If only I knew then what I know now?... Nope, I'm not
gonna start"what Iffing" it just drives me deeper into my codie ways.
TF
She paid all the money back, took her months of working odd jobs, but it never happened again.
Trust was lost and to this day, I do question her when she wants something. Isn't that sad?
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Old 02-12-2015, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Twofish View Post
Dear Rosie,
This happened to my RAD in her 3rd year at college. I was paying all her bills, books, food,
Sorority fees, then all of a sudden checks started coming thru written out to "her" and
signed by "me". Hummm, I didn't write that. Sadly stealing from the one who loves you the
most doesn't matter to addiction. That was my first hint that something was "off" with her.
I started locking up and keeping better track of my valuable possessions. That was the
beginning of my rollercoaster ride. If only I knew then what I know now?... Nope, I'm not
gonna start"what Iffing" it just drives me deeper into my codie ways.
TF
She paid all the money back, took her months of working odd jobs, but it never happened again.
Trust was lost and to this day, I do question her when she wants something. Isn't that sad?

Agreed. That was a new low. Glad he went and paid it all back but used his brother for that one. I do sleep with my purse and cancelled that bank account. Dear lord. So sad and so sorry. Just our reality.
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Old 02-12-2015, 05:48 PM
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We had a deduction from our pay checks for savings bonds for years and years. It was for college and I felt proud that we were thinking of our kids and planning for their future. We kept all the bonds in a strong box. It wasn't until my daughter had admitted to her addiction that we finally figured out that some of the money to support her addiction came from cashing in some of those bonds. I felt stupid that I had not known and at the same time extremely violated. It's such a hard thing to imagine and yet it also helped me understand how strong the pull of addiction is. We certainly didn't raise our kids to be thieves.

My heart hurts for you and all of us that have to experience that loss of trust.
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Old 02-12-2015, 06:15 PM
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Back at ya. So sorry too....protecting myself as a single mom has to happen. And the disease is far reaching.....
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