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Old 02-06-2015, 11:29 AM
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Arrow Welcome!

This is a new forum for those of us who have family members who are substance abusers. This will be a safe place for us to discuss the ongoing issues we have with our loved ones. If you have a parent, child, sibling, cousin, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle, etc... this forum will be an additional support group for you. If you have lost a family member to addiction, through death or no contact, this is also a safe place for you to remember your loved one, share your experience, and work through grief.

My son is an alcoholic. I've been dealing with it for over 20 years. I have not been able to break the bond that would allow me to go no contact. I set boundaries. I try to find a balance of when to support and when to let him pay his own consequences. I've had to face the risk it takes to make the hard decisions.

When I've faced a crisis I come here and search the forums for a place to post and it just doesn't feel safe to me when I'm feeling so vulnerable.
I'm hoping I and many others will feel safer posting on this forum.

My son is doing well now, but we all know that can change in a day.

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Old 02-06-2015, 12:06 PM
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Thanks for this forum, MG, this safe place.

I'm really happy to hear that your son is doing well.
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Old 02-06-2015, 12:11 PM
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Thank you, MG! I, too, have many family members that struggle with a variety of addictions. My maternal grandparents were alcoholics, my aunt, her daughter, her granddaughter are all alcoholics. My sister is a recovering alcoholic and powder cocaine addict.

It will be wonderful to have a welcoming and safe place for us to talk about our family members and to share what we have learned with one another!
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:18 PM
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I think a safe welcoming place for family members is a great idea
Thanks MG and Seren

D
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Old 02-06-2015, 02:50 PM
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Old 02-06-2015, 03:44 PM
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Thank you so much.

I would like to know if this will also be a place where we can discuss and share ALL kinds of recovery options, including those we have found for ourselves, and not just our loved ones? Can we share books, articles, videos and other resources that will help us on this journey? I hope so. I am an avid reader and researcher and from my experience with my RAD, I know that there is not ONE right answer for anyone dealing with addiction. I admire the sacred and secular, the time-worn and the cutting-edge.

I hope we can feel free to share not just our feelings but our findings and experiences with each other without judgment and criticism.

I am happy to be here.
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Old 02-06-2015, 03:59 PM
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Absolutely!
I take one action one time and another action another time depending on the situation.
I put a lot of heart wrenching thought into all my actions. Some are extremely hard with a lot of risk and others are very supportive with a lot of help.

There is no one set of rules or actions for me so all tools are always helpful.
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:00 PM
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Thank you. As a new family member of an addict I appreciate this forum so much. I thank you again. My heart is so heavy and trying so hard to let go To understand when as a om I really don't want to. Then it's real. My boss said. Get it together. I need you. I say I have nothing to give. I feel so very paralyzed. I find it hard to move. I am trying to hit meetings and I know I have to do that more. Right now I'm planning a second drug test. Just to keep my sanity and commitment to house rules. But so very scared of findings. Not sure I'm strong enough to act on a positive test. God I need to find a higher source.
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:08 PM
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Hi Rosie, Welcome!

I remember when my husband and I first found out his son was smoking crack. It was near Christmas time, and I remember very clearly just bawling my eyes out in church the next weekend during Mass. Sending many hugs your way!

S
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:14 PM
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Welcome Rosie!

I will never forget the first time I put my son out homeless.
I took him to Wal-Mart and bought him warm clothes and shoes and a hat and gloves.
I filled a back pack full of food. It was a big step for me, but I laugh at myself now.

I know how hard it is.
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:17 PM
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Hugs Rosie. Hopefully you will find some helpful info here to make informed decisions.
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Seren View Post
Hi Rosie, Welcome!

I remember when my husband and I first found out his son was smoking crack. It was near Christmas time, and I remember very clearly just bawling my eyes out in church the next weekend during Mass. Sending many hugs your way!

S
Thanks and did it help these forums cause I need to continue Life I don't want to live in this freeze frame.. I want to find strength to move forward.
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:19 PM
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I hope so too
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:23 PM
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I Don't know how to post to one person. I'm a dumb computer mom.
But morning glory. I could not imagine that experience. Thanks for sharing. Honestly right now. that scares the heck out of me
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:26 PM
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The forums helped me because I saw other mothers doing what I didn't have the strength to do. Their strength helped me become stronger. I learned from their experience. I didn't stay frozen. I took a small step at a time. I still freeze sometimes, but we get back up and do the next right thing.

"Do the next right thing" is one of my favorite slogans.

Awareness, Acceptance, and Action is my other favorite.
Action is the third step in the process.
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:29 PM
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Thank you so much for creating this safe place for parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, etc. I can feel the peace.

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Old 02-06-2015, 05:30 PM
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Rosie - We are HERE for you!! I didn't know a thing about posting on a forum when I first found SR, but the people here are great and you are doing just fine.

I'm a recovering addict (RA) and a loved one of people who are/were addicts and alcoholics. I'm really glad about this new forum.

What I can tell you is that the friends & family people have been a huge part of my recovery. I share my ES&H here, because these are the people who have always been here for me.

I'm going on 8 years in recovery. That being said, my stepmom died in a home we shared with my dad a year ago, of an unintentional OD.

Addiction, in any form, is brutal. We can know addiction inside and out and still be unable to get through to someone. We do what we can, we reach out and we learn as much as possible. We cling to the people who "get it" and they get us through the roller coaster of addiction. We even learn that we can have a good life, no matter what, but it takes time and we have learned patience.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 02-06-2015, 05:36 PM
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Rosie, I'm so glad you are here! I think I mentioned to you in another thread that your first post brought me right back to how I felt when I first discovered my daughter's addiction. I cried at my first Naranon meetings and every time I signed on here. I was so lucky that at that time my Naranon group was filled with parents of young addicts and there were so many supportive family members here. For me there was nothing better than being with people who understood because they had been there too.

We really are walking with you.
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:03 PM
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Thank you all So glad you are here and so kind.
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:16 PM
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