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Old 03-05-2018, 02:59 PM   #401 (permalink)
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Yes, my stepson is gratefully in another state Yes, I do sometimes feel bad about thinking such a thing, but it has made things peaceful here for the most part!
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Old 03-10-2018, 03:41 AM   #402 (permalink)
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So, I sent that letter to my stepson's public defender. I realize that attorney/client privilege will not allow much information to be shared, but I thought I would try to find out how many years he may be facing at this point as a repeat, violent offender.

Either way, the public index record should be updated by mid-week, and I can check that and forward it to her then.
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Old 04-08-2018, 11:30 AM   #403 (permalink)
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Well, no news is...no news. No idea what is happening with my stepson's trial, but it will eventually be part of the public record when it happens. He is still in jail.

Easter was lovely and I hope to have dinner with family soon!
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Old 04-08-2018, 03:11 PM   #404 (permalink)
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Hi Seren,

No news, means peace, too! You can't put a price on that. At least you know where he is. Sometimes, I find it's best to know nothing of what's going on - then your mind doesn't go into overdrive.
Easter was nice here too. Gave all the grandchildren their chocolate easter eggs (I'm surprised they all survived, as I usually eat at least 1, and have to run out and buy another), then hubby and I went out for dinner.
The weather here has been pretty awful, with snow - but I'm hopeful that spring weather is around the corner. I want to plant some flowers in the garden.
I hope you can get together with your family soon.
Take good care and much love
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Old 04-09-2018, 02:29 AM   #405 (permalink)
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It is amazing how I am relieved that he is in jail. It really is where he needs to be to *perhaps* begin to get the help he needs. He sent a letter to his sister full of denial and blaming - so it certainly doesn't seem that he is ready yet.
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Old 10-31-2018, 02:36 AM   #406 (permalink)
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Well, my stepson has been released after serving his time. He is currently on probation. I know all this because I looked it up on the VINELink website, not because he called me.

He sent a particularly evil letter to his sister before being released--quite the nastygram. He knows how to particularly push her buttons.

At this point, I don't know if I'll ever hear from him again...and my stepdaughter doesn't tell me anything if/when he calls her. I have to ask.

No news is good news, I guess, but I really feel like I'm letting my late husband down that I don't know anything about what is going on with his son -- there is no connection to him at all.

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Old 11-01-2018, 08:16 AM   #407 (permalink)
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Dear Seren,
I think that if you are taking care of yourself, you cannot possibly be letting your late husband down.
I also believe that in heaven, there is no judgement.
We've all been through so much, we deserve to hold onto our peace if we are lucky enough to know it.
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Old 11-01-2018, 08:39 AM   #408 (permalink)
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I think your connection to your step son is from a healthy distance. Obviously you care about him, you think about him, maybe pray for him and you inquire about his well being with stepdaughter. I think given the circumstances with your stepson you are doing the best you can.

The nicest place to be is in someone’s thoughts. The safest place to be is in someone’s prayers.

I think given the circumstances with your stepson you are doing the best you can. I’m sure your late husband understands that more today than he ever did before.
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Old 11-07-2018, 03:21 AM   #409 (permalink)
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Thanks seekingcalm and atalose, I appreciate your words of support!

The young man did call his sister the day before Halloween...apparently, the call started out fine but ended like the letter he sent. Blaming everyone else for his problems and threatening to kill himself. Each time he does this, she calls and has a welfare check done (good on her!) and then can't sleep that night

Oh well, at least for now, I don't think he has my number! SMH

Maybe someday....
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Old 06-15-2019, 10:29 AM   #410 (permalink)
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I've hesitated to talk about this here, but perhaps it can help someone. Well, my stepson is in the hospital in his town. In a coma, on a ventilator, not responsive, possible closed-head injury. Liver has been abused, and so his ammonia levels are high. Doctors are working to bring that down and then do a full CT scan of his head. His sister and brothers have been to see him, as have I.

And we wait...wait to see how this all plays out. And we pray.
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Old 06-18-2019, 03:59 PM   #411 (permalink)
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And I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 06-19-2019, 02:47 PM   #412 (permalink)
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Dear Seren,
Thinking of you all at this difficult time.

Much Love
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Old 06-19-2019, 02:55 PM   #413 (permalink)
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I'm so very sorry, Seren. Prayers and positive thoughts are with you all.
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Old 06-19-2019, 03:40 PM   #414 (permalink)
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Thank you all, very much! I'm hoping to hear more news this evening.
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Old 11-24-2019, 04:38 AM   #415 (permalink)
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There don't seem to be many parents on the boards these days, but I know there are a few.

Since Mr. Seren died, things have gotten worse for my stepson. By that I mean he has been in the hospital several more times, he has been beaten up by the other bf of his on-again/off-again addicted gf. Ultimately, he ended up in the hospital with brain damage because of the drug use and now lives in a facility a few states away. We don't know yet how much function he will recover--but I still pray.

I hope everyone is doing well, or at least has some peace in their lives! Check in when you can
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Old 11-25-2019, 08:52 AM   #416 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry Seren to hear about your stepson!! Unfortunately just got back from a memorial service for my stepdaughter. Died suddenly from heart complications from cocaine abuse. So very sad as she leaves behind 3 children. Her own father(my husband) died 11yrs ago. On a positive note, my own RAD has been doing so well these last few years. Hope this doesn't set her back.
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Old 11-26-2019, 04:56 AM   #417 (permalink)
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Oh, Faith! I'm just so sorry! Such loss with addiction, and only those of us who have had to go through this really understand. Your whole family are in my prayers--especially your RAD that she will be supported in her continued recovery!
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Old 11-26-2019, 07:30 AM   #418 (permalink)
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I am sorry, Faith, and my prayers go out for your other daughter, that this will make her stronger in her own recovery.

And Seren, I am so sorry about your stepson. Just when we think it cannot get worse...it does. I keep both of you in my prayers too.

I don't post on this forum much, but will take some time and come update soon about my own son...who still struggles but who is still alive and that's good to know. I keep my distance, I had a choice and decided to let time show me what to do, and time showed me that the only thing that had changed was me.

I just cannot buy a ticket each the circus comes to town. As dear Amy aka Impurrfect used to say "Not my circus, not my monkeys".

God has brought me to a good and safe place with all this. And I have given God my son's care, and left it between them.

Back soon. Hugs to all the parents, prayers for all of our children.
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Old 11-26-2019, 12:57 PM   #419 (permalink)
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Thank you for updating us Seren, although I am so sorry to hear about your stepson. Faith, my thoughts are with your family as well.
During the past couple of months, I began attending Al-anon meetings regularly for the first time...so many mothers of sons and daughters.
I wish all the parents here and everywhere peace and joy during this holiday season.
My son won't be at my table, but I pray he is in god's hands and will someday be on the path to recovery and real happiness in his life.
I am grateful for this site.
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Old 11-28-2019, 06:56 AM   #420 (permalink)
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Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I will spend some time today with family and host a small cookout tomorrow for some young folks from work who have no family with whom they can gather.

I hope there is some peace in everyone's day today. I'll call my stepson later and wish him every good thing...and continue to pray for us all.
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