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Old 06-13-2019, 06:20 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Hmmmmm....not really. I am pretty busy with activities that I do- I have a job - which I do like but it does cause stress. It's crazy --the littlest things will cause me stress. I stress very easily the older I get. It is very stressful for me to try new things. I stay busy though with running, swimming, I do volunteer work with low income elderly (which is very gratifying) and take some classes. Maybe it is depression but in all honesty there is not much I do that I can say is fun.
This eating disorder really gets me down. I am way too obsessed with it.
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Old 06-14-2019, 07:31 AM   #22 (permalink)
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For me it was hard to be with myself and feel emotions....thus it was hard to give myself down time.

My ED has run the gamete from undereating to over (no purging though) to over and under exercise.

For me only it was all a way to numb out. It was so hard to BE for me for so long. All of my -isms were about not being.

Food stuff, exercise stuff, co-dependent stuff and work a holic stuff.

A wise person once reminded me we are human beings, not human doings.

Have you read Anita Johnson's Eating in the Light of the Moon. It helped me to realize why I was so focused on doing vs being and why I wanted to be so numb.

PS In part what I wrote above is why I keep asking about what binge eating means to you. Sometimes my ED has me convinced that I "feel" like I have binged when in actuality I just ate. That feeling got worse the healthier I have become at times.
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Old 06-15-2019, 02:58 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Thank you LR for you thought and comments. It is one day at a time for me. Likewise I do have a hard time just being....I always feel I have to be doing something. I have faith that things will get better. I feel I just have to get some momentum going. I feel if I ate healthy and no BE for two weeks I would be on a roll and not want to BE. I just have to get through the first two weeks! Thanks again for your comment. I will definitely look in the book Eating in the Light of the Moon. I do love self help books! Thanks again!
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Old 06-18-2019, 07:39 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Bethany

Just checking in?

What kind of support do you have in place for you?
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Old 06-20-2019, 05:19 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Thank you LR. I am doing well these past few days. Last weekend went OK - no binge eating but I didn't eat all that healthy. As always Monday is a new start. I am going to be hyper focused on this weekend. My support system is actually Sober Recovery. I feel my ED is so similar to alcoholism that is really helps me to read what helps others. There is a thread on sugar addiction that really helps. I do think a BIG part of my problem is my insomnia. When I have decent night sleep (say 6-hours is good for me) I feel so much better and eat well...seems to come in waves. Last week I was feeling really lethargic so I started a journal recording everything I ate for the day, my sleep the night before and how I felt that day (tired, depressed) . I am going to see if there is a pattern. Thank you for checking in. I hope you are doing well?
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Old 06-26-2019, 05:23 PM   #26 (permalink)
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I agree that for me recovery is recovery.

I don't happen to struggle with alcohol addiction but have found open AA meetings helpful as I just substitute alcohol out for food and get support. Do you do face to face meetings or are you just reading material?

I actually got the stomach flu this weekend.

I am so grateful to be aware of myself enough now to know it absolutely was illness and not me trying to manipulate food somehow. I am feeling better but that was a big point of freedom for me even in the midst of feeling so ill.
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Old 06-28-2019, 03:06 AM   #27 (permalink)
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LR....hope you are feeling better. I am doing pretty good on day 5. Really going to be diligent for tomorrow. I have a very stressful day. Stress and insomnia are big triggers for me. I started the journal on Monday and it's really interesting to write down my thoughts and what I eat.
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Old 07-03-2019, 03:23 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Wow....today will be a true test for me. I had only one hour of sleep last night...my insomnia was so bad! I have a super busy day at work today as well. This usually sets me up for a binge. I am posting her to be accountable. Will try to post later as well. Insomnia is awful...I would not want to wish it on anybody! I have been doing the food/mood journal as well. I plan to do it for 90 days.
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Old 07-05-2019, 09:08 AM   #29 (permalink)
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So how did it go Bethany?

What are you learning from the mood/food journal?
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Old 07-06-2019, 12:12 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Wow....today will be a true test for me. I had only one hour of sleep last night...my insomnia was so bad! I have a super busy day at work today as well. This usually sets me up for a binge. I am posting her to be accountable. Will try to post later as well. Insomnia is awful...I would not want to wish it on anybody! I have been doing the food/mood journal as well. I plan to do it for 90 days.
Actually I did pretty good this day. Was super stressed - but I did not binge- and slept fairly well that night (well geez the night before I only had one hour so I guess my body can only go for so long) - felt good the next day.
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Old 07-06-2019, 12:24 PM   #31 (permalink)
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So how did it go Bethany?

What are you learning from the mood/food journal?
Thank you LR for asking. In this food journal you post your emotions on a little smiley face - and I realize I am stressed a lot. One new thing I learned about myself is when I don't eat much for lunch and dinner I will binge at night. I mean this makes sense --so I'll be more conscience of this. This happened yesterday I was so busy I didn't eat much lunch. Then at dinner I did have a nice big salad - but it didn't hold me - had a box of crackers (whole big box) and big bag of popcorn at night....ugh...mad at myself about that. Today is a new day. Had a nice relaxing day - farmers market and bought some sunflowers to brighten my day and I'm off to go swimming. Ran in the worlds largest 10K on 4th of July ---which was so fun.
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Old 07-09-2019, 02:18 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Bethany, there is a solution. Are you familiar with the Big Book (AA)? It might as well have been written about food rather than alcohol because it describes what I used to do with food. I was hopelessly addicted and thought I'd live the yo-yo, whiplash of on a diet/off a diet for the rest of my life.

I hope you don't have to scrape through years of the demoralization of food addiction like I did. I asked whatever God is out there for help "one more time" and got myself to an OA meeting. I haven't had sugar since (Nov 2005) and life slowly got better. Now, it's better than ever. I have a life worth living and believe me, I live it to the fullest.

Peace and joy to you. And to LifeRecovery too!
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Old 07-11-2019, 03:18 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Thank you Ringo for the encouragement. I am familiar with big book and agree with you that it could be written for both alcohol and food. That is why SR really helps. I am so impressed that you have not had sugar since 2005!! That is truly amazing. You are my inspiration!!
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Old Yesterday, 07:27 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Also I do suffer from depression but mainly keep it at bay. I have been treated for depression for many years. When I binge eat I will get very depressed - upset with myself. I try to avoid sugar at all times. If I eat a cookie or something I will eat the whole bag - then go on to anything I can find that is bad. I don't have a problem with alcohol but I understand how some cannot have one drink. I am the same way with sweets. What I do for relaxation - I do swim and I do run. I run 10ks and I have ran a few half marathons and plan to run a few more this year. I really feel sugar is bad for you. I feel it effects my mind and body in bad ways. When I am on a binge I just don't care- but the next day I am very depressed. .

Hi Bethany57- just wanted to comment that I do think there’s something to that. There is research on it, that shows dysregulated blood sugars and poor diet/ nutrient deficiencies can cause a cycle of depression and/ or anxiety. I find sugar to be addictive too, and also have been trying to limit it best I can :/. Trying to stay off that roller coaster. Also my herbalist friend showed me this article, and I’ve been finding the info from it to be helpful. Good luck:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-foo...sAqBtqwZSsCSyM

(not sure if that link works, but it’s from the website www.wsj.com, and the article is called “The Food That Helps Battle Depression”)
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