My relationship now with my mother is good. Actually it was never bad per say, but it was distant for a long time and I did a couple of times of limited contact.
My mother grew up in an alcoholic household, and the whole family has not been treated for their co-dependency. My mother does NOT struggle with food or her weight, but she does struggle with being willing to feel emotions.
In many ways I had an idyllic childhood. I did not have any guidelines on emotions though and this has been the biggest challenge of my adulthood and the crux of my recovery. I have lived with an eating disorder since the age of 4-6 I suspect, with more common "diagnosed" behaviors around 12 or 13.
While getting treatment for my eating disorder I met, loved and married a problem drinker. I believed I had already dealt with my codependency but as that relationship was challenged I had to dig in and further heal my recovery further.
For me food was a numbing agent. I used it when emotions were too high for me to do anything with, and food helped me to stuff those also.
The parts of my childhood that my family were better able to prepare me for life did get me into recovery......and it has been the best gift I have ever given myself.
I thought at first most of my work was going to revolve around my dad and brother as they were more classically dysfunctional. It took years to be able to look at my relationship with my mom and her side of the family. I live a long way away from them which has given me the space to work on me....and I am grateful for that.
I commend you for doing what you need to do to keep yourself safe right now. For me that has changed as my healing has changed. I would not change either experience.
My mother is kind of a saint to the rest of the family too. That was part of what I needed to work through too.
You have this!