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Old 02-13-2018, 06:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I have posted a bit in the Alcohol forums, but food is a huge problem for me, too.
I've had a really unhealthy relationship with food since I was ... well, as young as I can remember, and it became more and more severe over the years. When I was tired of being fat but didn't want stop eating (couldn't stop eating) I started purging. The binge and purge cycles have gotten worse, and along with my alcoholism I'm very sick all the time. Today is Day 2 for me of no drinking, and Day 1 (again) to try and abstain from compulsive eating. I visited my first OA meeting yesterday. It was hard and uncomfortable, and I didn't say anything, but listening helped a little, and they gave me a bunch of literature to read.

I'm feeling loss. Losing food after all these years almost feels like losing a friend or a security blanket.

Just looking for support...
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Old 02-13-2018, 08:19 AM   #2 (permalink)
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It is a loss when you have used food to cope and then you try not to do that any more.

I wish you the best.
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Old 02-13-2018, 01:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What a lot of us alcoholics do is focus on one thing at a time. Binge drinking is dangerous in the immediate sense, so maybe just focus on that first, and work to eat regular meals. I can't tell you how much life has changed since beginning to eat regular, scheduled meals.

It has stopped my binging patterns, because it meets my body's need for nutrients and the urge is simply not as strong.

Keep posting.
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Old 02-13-2018, 04:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi GirlScreaming-

I am so glad you are here, but I am sorry for what brought you here.

Ahhh the challenge of food abounds. Moderation which is so elusive and challenging with any substance adds a deeper level of challenge when we are asked to do it three times a day.....in moderation.

Congrats for getting to an OA meeting. Even if it was hard and uncomfortable it was a step forward on your journey.

I used food to numb out. I suspect in many ways that is what addiction is about. I was eating (or not eating) to not feel. I have not struggled with alcohol so cannot speak to that directly except to say that when I attend open AA meetings the theme of why seems to be the same, the drug of choice different.

I have also found that REGARDLESS of my recovery tool and what disorder it targets it helps all of my challenges, even if it feels harder in the moment then going back to my drug of choice.

What kind of support do you have for you? At different times I have utilized therapy, Al-Anon, Open AA meetings (no OA as we have not had an active group where I live), body work like massage, seeing a dietitian, a woman's group etc. That is NOT all at the same time of course.

I can't promise it will be easy. I can promise that it does get better, and that you are worth it. My recovery is the best gift I have ever given myself.
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Old 02-24-2018, 07:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
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GirlScreaming-
hang in there. I completely relate to the feelings of loss when you stop using a "coping" strategy. It is an immense sense of loss- and I have found ways to fill that by getting involved with activities and groups.

I wasn't able to fully overcome my unhealthy eating behaviors until I started treating my alcoholism. It hasn't been easy but seeing how the multiple addictive patterns in my life have intersected and truly all stem from the same place (for me a sense of control over what seems out of control and avoidance of what I don't want to face) has finally given me a sense of peace and acceptance that I have never been able to find.

I agree that a 12 step program can help. Whatever program we are in, the steps help us cope with "life on life's terms". The addictive behavior is merely a symptom of a deeper problem.

You sound like you are on the right path to discovery. Keep fighting- you are worth it!
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Old 03-02-2018, 04:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thank you so much for your reply.
I am going to a meeting on Monday. There are no alcohol meetings I can attend in my area, but there is an OA meeting. I'm hoping to use the steps for all areas in my life. It's hard to tell if alcohol or eating is my "worst" problem right now. I'm desperate in both areas, but this group, this site, gives me such hope. I have to make a better commitment to come here more often.
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