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Old 09-16-2017, 03:45 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Yup staying "balanced," while trying to eat three meals a day can be crazy making.

It IS a huge deal that you are looking at all of this. You are doing a lot of hard work.

Sometimes for me this is when food got harder. I don't mean it stayed harder, but I do mean that it was harder for a short time as I started getting real.

You are working on three significant challenges. One of which you have stopped entirely, one you are tapering, and food which you need to "balance."

My hope for you is that you can be easy on you and food-regardless of what it looks like because you are tackling so much stuff right now. It will come.

I have been living with distorted food stuff for 36 years, the 20+ working my recovery have been worth it, so worth it.
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Old 09-17-2017, 09:34 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Thanks LR! It's nice to hear acknowledgment that what I'm doing is really hard. I told myself I would wait on the Ambien and focus one thing at a time, but I blacked out one night and decided it was time to say goodbye. I mixed alcohol and Ambien for years so it reminds me too much of drinking and it's not safe to take long term. It's been linked to dementia.

Had some pie and ice cream last night but I wouldn't call it a binge. I ordered a supplement called L-Glutamine that is supposed to help with cravings for sweets and alcohol and also has a bunch of other benefits. My acupuncturist recommended it. It's supposed to arrive tonight.

I went to a Refuge Recovery meeting last night and it was great. They talk about cravings from a Buddhist perspective and they include food and sex. It's a very holistic approach to recovery. Going to a women's AA meeting this evening. Trying to stay on track!

I was thinking back to my bout with anorexia and remembered the time when I had a piece of pizza at a friend's party and proceeded to run in circles in the backyard for 20 minutes to burn it off. You would think her mom would try to talk to my mom but nope. The only time my mom protested is when the food she made went to waste. I honestly think they were relieved I lost my baby fat because I heard them discussing my weight one time when I was 10. It obviously made an impression.
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Old 09-29-2017, 12:16 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I'm about 42 days sober from alcohol.
I am overweight by about 30lbs. It used to be more but I have lost about 40lbs.
I go to the gym 5 times a week, walk to work, see a trainer.
However, if you just get 10,000 steps a day it will help.
I hate exercise and love food so literally anyone can do it if I can!
For me the hardest part is staying sober because I love drinking, but I was so sick and unhealthy.
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Old 09-29-2017, 12:53 PM   #24 (permalink)
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If a behaviour and subsequent actions- be it chemical , food- gambling, fitness..whatever is counterproductive and rules a person/'s life to the detriment of them getting better, healing, growing- finding peace..that to me is not good.
I know someone who is absolutely obsessed with AA. To the detriment of everything else. Yes sobriety is first...but there is more to life than AA meetings.
Great post Phoenix. I agree, but I do also think that short-term this 'addiction displacement' can be helpful. To me, it is harm reduction -- swapping out a bad but less destructive behavior (caffeine, cigarettes, food) while you try to get control of the worse behavior (alcohol, drugs, gambling). At first, you may need to really put all of your focus on alcohol. But once that stabilizes, it's important to start addressing these other addictions. We've all seen long-term sober people who drink coffee by the pot, smoke cigarettes by the pack, have food/weight issues, and spend all of their free time at meetings or doing other recovery stuff. Not healthy in my opinion.
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Old 09-29-2017, 09:40 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I hear you. On one quit I gained 35 pounds in three months. I started drinking again because I felt the trade off wasn't worth it. On the next quit I gained another 25. It took a year of drinking and dieting to get 50 pounds off. Now, I am eating and eating and eating...it's happening again. Next week I'm going to do keto or paleo: because I can't eat carbs moderately when I am sober. When I am sober, I binge carbs. My challenge will be staying sober when I ditch the carbs: because I have a knee jerk drinking reaction to that. My stakes are high this time and I will have more recovery help, so I'm just going to have to tackle both. Excessive weight gain is not an option for me.
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:59 AM   #26 (permalink)
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I hear you sassy. I'm also afraid I will feel too deprived if I diet while trying to stay sober. However, I'm having a really bad flare of Rheumatoid Arthritis and I know cleaning up my diet will help me feel better (mainly eliminating gluten and dairy which are both inflammatory). So I may just have to feel deprived if I want to feel less pain. I really don't have the luxury of eating whatever I want for my weight and my overall health. During the first month sober, I felt I "deserved" to eat half a pie or a pint of ice cream in one sitting. But now I need to think about my long term health. It's way beyond vanity at this point. The extra weight is putting pressure on my arthritic knees and hips and my cholesterol and blood sugar are both borderline high. I'm currently weighing in at 210 and I'm 5'5". It's just really uncomfortable too.
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Old 09-30-2017, 11:55 AM   #27 (permalink)
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I'm about 42 days sober from alcohol.
I am overweight by about 30lbs. It used to be more but I have lost about 40lbs.
I go to the gym 5 times a week, walk to work, see a trainer.
However, if you just get 10,000 steps a day it will help.
I hate exercise and love food so literally anyone can do it if I can!
For me the hardest part is staying sober because I love drinking, but I was so sick and unhealthy.
Inspired by you! I stopped drinking 7/16 and found that relatively easy. Upping the exercise was a goal but I haven't achieved it yet. Love your attitude.
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Old 10-22-2017, 11:41 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Hey all. Since I last posted on this thread I've gained 5 pounds. I'm pretty miserable. I went on a long walk yesterday and plan to do another one today. With my current health challenges, I can't do the intense workouts I used to do.

I really have to clean up my diet but I can't seem to find the will to do it.
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Old 10-22-2017, 12:17 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Leana, you'll get a handle on it. It's still early. I think most of us come into sobriety with some nutritional deficiencies, and it takes time to level out.

I log all my food on Myfitnesspal. I also spend some time in the forums there, it helps remind me that I'm not alone in food struggles or exercise challenges. It really had to become important to me. So if I keep track of my food every single day no matter what I eat, I can see in black and white what my job is going forward. It takes about five minutes a day, and it keeps me honest and mindful.

No one eats "clean" (whatever that means) all the time. No one. Most of us have to find an exercise that brings us joy to keep doing it. Mine is a walk/hike through the woods ending at a beach. Or kayaking, or swimming. Whatever, it has to be enjoyable. Some people like yoga or Zumba, or classes, or Crossfit or whatever.

It doesn't have to be every day and you don't have to train like an athlete. I lost weight down to a healthy weight and I only do an hour of exercise 3-4 times a week.

I saw a gym bag in the locker room that said, "Move and your heart will follow."

I found exercise really helps my mood and sleep.

Just start.
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Old 10-28-2017, 11:40 AM   #30 (permalink)
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I don't really know what eating "clean" means either. I watched an interesting video about orthorexia which is basically obsession with eating healthy. I'm a far cry from that, but it's an interesting concept.

I'm contemplating walking to take care of my errands today but I may take a nap first...

I know that sitting around in my dark apartment all day is not going to do me any good physically or mentally.
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Old 12-20-2017, 03:49 PM   #31 (permalink)
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I realize this is an old thread....but when I read it, I was like "Oh my god, they get it!!!!" I'm around 16 months sober and have gained almost 50 lbs. in that time. I binge eat, mostly carbs and sugar. I've tried many different approaches to managing my eating...but I haven't stuck with anything.

I especially understand the part about sharing concerns with folks in AA. I have found INCREDIBLE support in AA...truly, it's the reason I'm still sober. But when I share about the eating problems...I always get a similar response - focus on sobriety, it's a common problem, it will work itself out, etc etc etc.

I'm working on finding a therapist to try to address the eating...but I feel really discouraged. I sometimes have thoughts about going back to drinking because at least then...I didn't eat. I know it's sick thinking....but that's what comes up in my head.

I'd love an update on how things are going for those of you struggling with the same issues!
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Old 12-22-2017, 03:01 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Lindajean-

Welcome to the thread.

I have not been challenged around alcohol in my life, but I have lived with food stuff a very long time.

I attend an open women's AA meeting and have found that while not always focusing on the food many of the women share in that meeting how food is a challenge for them in the same way that alcohol was. I wonder what kind of meetings you have been sharing in about this.
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Old 12-23-2017, 09:18 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Hi Lindajean. I wish I could say things are better, but I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I'm not binging as much as I was, but I'm still eating too much of the wrong things. My tendency to gain weight is also being complicated by a liver issue right now. A sluggish liver will make you gain weight.

I remember being in an AA meeting and this skinny girl was going on and on about her yoga practice and it really annoyed me. At that moment I thought maybe I should be going to OA meetings. Since then, I've pretty much given up on AA and only go to Refuge Recovery, LifeRing or SMART meetings. I just can't handle the AA philosophy, but I know it works for a lot of people.

Don't go back to the drinking whatever you do. I feel like a hypocrite for asking this, but are you working the steps? Therapy will also help. Try to find someone who specializes in eating disorders.

LifeRecovery - good to see you! Happy Holidays to both of you!
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Old 12-25-2017, 06:34 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Hi Lindajean. I wish I could say things are better, but I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I'm not binging as much as I was, but I'm still eating too much of the wrong things. My tendency to gain weight is also being complicated by a liver issue right now. A sluggish liver will make you gain weight.

I remember being in an AA meeting and this skinny girl was going on and on about her yoga practice and it really annoyed me. At that moment I thought maybe I should be going to OA meetings. Since then, I've pretty much given up on AA and only go to Refuge Recovery, LifeRing or SMART meetings. I just can't handle the AA philosophy, but I know it works for a lot of people.

Don't go back to the drinking whatever you do. I feel like a hypocrite for asking this, but are you working the steps? Therapy will also help. Try to find someone who specializes in eating disorders.

LifeRecovery - good to see you! Happy Holidays to both of you!
Yes I'm working the steps. And I have a great sponsor. I'm very grateful for that. I've been wondering if I should try OA mtgs. The "out of control" feeling is really similar to when I was drinking.
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Old 12-25-2017, 11:02 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Out of control feeling. Yes.

Lately, my issue is more with what I eat and not how much I eat, but I still have my occasional binges. When I binge, I am completely out of control. But luckily it's not as much of an issue as the first few months after I quit drinking.
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Old 01-04-2018, 02:58 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Lindajean, I think we're on another thread together. Nice to 'see' you here.

I go to OA in addition to AA. AA was first but it took a long time for me to get food sobriety, so to speak.

Leana, I stay away from those foods that I cause me to eat more, more, more.

I'd like to share 'more' but I have to call my sponsor in 3 minutes. Maybe tomorrow!
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Old 01-04-2018, 03:35 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Thanks Ringo. Yes, carbs and sugar definitely make me eat more and more. I've been doing an OK job staying away and not binge eating.
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Old 01-05-2018, 02:37 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Leana, glad to hear that you're not bingeing. I know it's hard not to self comfort with food but there really are other ways to pass the time and to get comfort.

For a long time I could get abstinent but couldn't stay abstinent. I started over in OA many times and left it a couple of times too.

I still have thoughts of overeating but they stay as thoughts. I use program tools to get through the thought of eating instead of letting it fester to become a compulsion or obsession.

God only needs a moment of pause to restore me to sanity. But I gotta be the one to pause, no one can do it for me. Not a friend, sponsor, not even God. Just like with thoughts of drinking, I run the tape all the way through listing all the possible consequences.

It doesn't take long doing this mental exercise. It helps me if I turn my attention to something completely different, like doing the dishes, calling a newcomer, anything to get me out of my head.

Lindajean, depending on how long you've been sober, you might want to concentrate on AA before branching out to OA. It's completely up to you of course. I was in OA a short time years ago when I was still drinking so when I got sober, I knew about OA and didn't take long before I went to that too.
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Old 01-17-2018, 05:39 PM   #39 (permalink)
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I have trigger foods that I cannot have in the house because they always lead me to binge and I feel terrible after.

The story about running around after a big meal to burn off the calories hit close to home.
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Old 01-19-2018, 07:30 PM   #40 (permalink)
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I am so thankful for this thread, lots of interesting stuff and great insights that I can relate to... Apart of me feels like my excessive eating is because of how long I was using hard drugs and drinking heavily, but to what extent? When will my body stop wanting to consume so much? And how much of this is just because of the fact I am an addict and I'm transferring that to food now? It's all so blurry to me because on top of this, I'm also pregnant. But I've gained 50 lbs since July, which is too much even considering the fact i'm pregnant...

I found the posts regarding a therapists opinion really interesting too, I'm sure I could definitely use a therapist as well
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