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Bulimia and alcoholism

Old 11-11-2013, 06:25 AM
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Bulimia and alcoholism

I am wondering is anyone in recovery from both? Or knows of anyone who is? It feels like a hopeless battle sometimes. Even when i get good periods of sobriety i am never truly present or happy as i am so entangled in my Bulimia; which i believe is one of the reasons i repeatedly relapse with alcohol.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:31 AM
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Okay, I am a guy and this is more rare with guys, but yes, I have had issues with both. My Bulimia was at its peak in college, but the alcoholism was also budding and really had always been there just waiting to happen. I have not been completely "purge free" as I still succumb seems every few months, but I no longer have the bing-purge cycle that I did early on. Anxiety is a big trigger for both of the issues and I guess there are other issues associated with the bulimia.

The biggest help I have found is "moderate" exercise and focusing on a healthy diet. The exercise helps curb the anxiety and of course boosts my mood. At least for me I find I do best if I focus on the healthy things in life than trying to focus on "not" drinking and "not" doing the negatives. When I am trying not to do something the focus remains on what I am trying not to do. I really may have had not much to say helpful or that you may not know, but know that you are not alone and not the only one.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:01 AM
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Hi, Try.

I've been suffering not exactly from bulimia, rather it was binge eating. Maybe it was some kind of "mild" bulimia, I don't know. Anyway, it was a problem for me.

I used to "cure" negative emotions, anxiety, depression, and other issues with wine. When I quit I seemed to replace with with food. Though my relationships with food have always been complicated.

It got better when I started to look into the roots of anxiety and other emotional issues, dealing with then instead of "eating away". I started meditation and now work with therapist. It helps.

Can you see a specialist about that?

Best wishes to you.
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Old 11-12-2013, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Try18 View Post
I am wondering is anyone in recovery from both? Or knows of anyone who is? It feels like a hopeless battle sometimes. Even when i get good periods of sobriety i am never truly present or happy as i am so entangled in my Bulimia; which i believe is one of the reasons i repeatedly relapse with alcohol.
Hello
I suffered from anorexia and bulimia for 13 years of my life, and when I started my alchoholism recovery it was just such a terrible, haunted part of my life that I thought recovery from my eating disorders would never be possible, so I didn't even try. I was content to die that way, live the rest of my life as I could.
What helped me was maybe the second or third time I did a set of steps, I added my eating disorder on my list of character defects, because I found that most things related to it. When it came to the step where you ask to have your character defects removed, I asked to have my eating disorder removed without any real expectation. It was the first time I actually even considered living without my eating disorders. I prayed for it on a whim.
At the time I felt hopeless, and yet I felt really sad because I would have loved to live without it.
The next morning, I seriously woke up with the desire to start eating again. Most importantly I woke up with courage to be able to follow through with it, something I never had before. It was like a miracle, no word of a lie.
I started eating, and I gained weight really fast, but I kept that courage and knew I would have to deal with it.

The next step was a lot of personal work. Eating disorder recovery brought up a lot of bad shadows for me, regarding body image issues, how worthless I truly felt, really strange fears I had forgotten about, and it really tied into my sex addiction too.
I realized I had been so obsessed about living an artificial, shallow life because I was compeltely terrified of being me. I hated me, I hated every aspect of myself, it terrified me to open up to anybody, and once I gained weight I had to accept I no longer had my beauty (in my eyes) no more mask to hide behind, I felt so big, so easy to spot, so now I had to rely on my dreaded personality to attract "attention" from people instead of my surface and it was very, very hard to deal with.
Over time as I dealt with these things it became easier and easier.
But an eating disorder is never what meets the eye, it is always a control mechanism, to control something that is so gigantically warped in your life, so unbearable, and it hides emotions and problems that have run so deep that they've become hidden to you. There is a lot of work, and it is NOT easy, I've recovered from a lot of disorders but the eating disorders are/were the worst by far, and although it's possible, it is not good for people to say to you or anyone who has an eating disorder that nothing bad will ever happen, because when the bad things do happen in recovery they are so devastating, so devastating that it can really damage your will to continue on, but as long as you are prepared that it will get real rough, you'll be able to get through it. It's not pretty. You'll feel so bad about yourself some days, if you've ruined your insides, you will be in so much pain too, but it does get easier and it is definitely worth it, because finally getting to know yourself is so amazing. An eating disorder keeps you away from your true self. Becoming friends with myself has been worth it, and it has really shown me just how empty and worthless my life was before this, such wasted years in all of that, when I could have been exploring who I am really am and what I really love instead of living in this fake, pretend, hollow life.
I really wish you luck, but I think in this case, the best advice anyone could give is have faith. Sometimes things like this are so much more powerful than we are, especially eating disorders, and sometimes only faith can restore that to sanity.
An eating disorder is the ultimate definition of insane.
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Old 11-13-2013, 12:00 AM
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My drinking etc. was so out of control that there was no real chance of any progress with the bulimia until I had a good period of sobriety under my belt.

Even then it's taken years and a lot of help from my doctor/Eating Disorders Service. I take Topiramate daily now which has made a big difference for me.

I tried for years on my own but have only managed some success with the professional help.
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:41 AM
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Trying18-

I have been in recovery from my eating disorder for the last 13 years. It is not perfect, but it is much better.

There is data showing that at least 30% of people with eating disorders struggle with another addiction also. I don't say that to scare you, but to normalize this experience.

I could not do it alone. My therapist is versed in both eating disorders and addictions.

Having someone like that in my life has made all the difference.
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Old 01-01-2014, 05:03 PM
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I have been in recovery for almost two years and I would be lying if I said I didn't struggle but I am so happy I keep pushing on! I hate myself at times when I give into my Ed. It's not a perfect recovery and I have lapses but recovery is the best choice I have ever made
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Old 01-01-2014, 08:43 PM
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I think of recovery as the best present I have ever given myself.
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Old 01-13-2014, 04:21 PM
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Trying again today

Hi people I am a bulimic who is also an alcoholic and now I also have BPD. I am writing today because I'm losing the fight to both of them today. After a bad alcohol bender I tried to get into a detox center I have been to around 7 times but they would not except me this time because I told them about my eating disorder. I usually need meds for detox due to seizures but was lucky to make it to day 3 and then broke into my bfs beer after a b/p session. My vision gets blurry and I shake and have hot and cold flashes and I was doing good cleaning the house and being productive and I didn't want to stop so I drank. I told him about the one but now I'm up to 4 and I'm worried what he will think when he gets home. Just needed to get that off my chest and vent :-) Thanks
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:21 AM
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How are you doing today?
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Old 01-14-2014, 12:46 PM
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Shaky and sick and wanting to eat everything (but then of course I know what would happen) mainly stressed a lot has happened and I'm not sure how to climb out of it. Thanks for asking my emotions are all over the place. How are you doing?
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Old 01-14-2014, 01:40 PM
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I am at a point where I am getting ready to feel angry for the first time in my life, really angry. Not fearful or sad, but angry.

I am realizing now though how many things I do to distract from being angry. Food, turning to sadness/depression etc.

I am watching the how of I avoid feelings.

That makes food a challenge for me right now.

There are a number of people on this side of the board who also have had the alcohol/ED experience. What kind of support do you have for yourself today around either of them?
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Old 01-15-2014, 07:06 AM
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Well Day 2 of being sober lucky to not need detox this time but I'm stuck at home (lost lic) and no phone (no money to pay) can't say the same for the bulimia my bf came home all upset because he had to go and repay the power bill because the first one didn't go through and when I called and was trying to figure things out I don't remember passwords for accounts so it takes me awhile to redo them. Well he just yelled at me and made me feel like crap I told him please just leave and go have a drink I'm sick and I don't need your yelling. (He is under a lot of stress with his life and mine and came home an hour later much nicer) but I b/p and felt better but today I am so hungry I eat healthy when I'm not drunk or b/p but I always feel like I cant get enough food after a session and there isn't much food in the house because we are broke. But trying to deal. Just wanted to vent thanks, and I hope everyone is doing great today
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Old 03-08-2014, 02:55 AM
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Originally Posted by thunderseed View Post
I realized I had been so obsessed about living an artificial, shallow life because I was completely terrified of being me.
I just read this one line and it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for voicing what i am only just becoming to realise as the truth for myself..
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Old 03-08-2014, 10:02 AM
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I have struggled with an ED for 10 years and alcohol for 3. They both feed into one another and play off one another, at least for me. When I get drink, my ana inhibitions come down, leading to the mia portion of binging, then self harming, then purging and restricting the next day, starting the cycle all over again. I absolutely hate myself when I am like this and when I do this; to an extent, it somewhat outweighs the "like" factor of drinking/getting drunk. I HATE HATE HATE the next morning feeling of falling into that cycle, feeling so disgusting and guilty and sh!tty. Does that mean the ED is stronger than the alcohol addiction? I really don't know. What I do know is that when I decided to not drink for a period of time and, overall, cut back significantly, my ED showed its face more on the ana side again because I was once again in control of that side. Not drinking alleviated most of the anxiety associated with the b/p cycle, but now it's back to control over everything ana-related. I wasn't letting alcohol take away the ana control and letting the mia take control. I'm not being rational about the idea that my body was getting all of these calories from alcohol, and now I am not entirely giving it what it is used to receiving. Things are all out of whack. God these diseases are disgusting things. I wouldn't wish any of these things upon my worst anyway.
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Old 03-08-2014, 10:06 AM
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Thank you all for sharing these posts. I had no idea so many of us had this same problem with alcohol and bulemia. I only can work on one at a time.
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Old 03-08-2014, 04:00 PM
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I have struggled with an ED since I was 16 -- always starving myself, I was extremely underweight. When I was in my first serious relationship when I was 22 I put on a normal amount of healthy weight -- I looked healthy for once. But since that relationship ended 3 months ago, I have been starving myself and drinking more. It's a vicious cycle that I'm trying to make better decisions about my behavior, but sometimes it's easier said than done. I don't think I'll ever get over my ED. And having a problem with drinking doesn't make it any easier. Being a new member to this message board, I look forward to reading others' experiences and how they overcame their obstacles with their personal battles -- I'm waiting to get that inspiration in me to quit my bad habits altogether and be a healthier me.
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Old 12-21-2014, 04:53 AM
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Hi. I was bulimic in my teens-early twenties and have always had an unhealthy relationship with food. I was alcoholic through my 30s. I've been sober 3.5 months. PM me if you like.
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Old 03-30-2015, 11:32 AM
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I also am a bulimic and alcoholic. Struggled with anorexia from ages 13 to 15, then once I learned how to purge, yeah...I've been bulimic ever since. I'm 27 now. The alcohol abuse really got bad over the course of the past couple of years. I do not consciously binge and purge any more, but I do throw up after nearly every time I eat. So I'm purging but not binging any more. Today is Day 1 of my sobriety, I tend to want to binge when I'm not drinking (partially why the drinking got so bad in the first place), so we'll see how everything goes. I do believe I'm going to need at least a month or so of sobriety before I'll be able to pull enough focus to work on the bulimia as well. PM me if you'd like to chat =)
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Old 03-30-2015, 11:59 AM
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Glad you stopped by this side of the forum. I hope you are getting some support around sobriety first, and I think it is smart to make sure you have that on some solid footing before adding in the food part.

I found that as long as I was working recovery I was working it for all my challenges (not just one).

Thanks for the introduction. I am sorry you are "here" but glad you found us.
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