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DAY 90 - Against the Grain

Posted 03-29-2019 at 11:54 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

Feeling pretty fantastic today! I don't post on my blog anymore because I feel like I have overcome so much and don't need this outlet to process all those crazy emotions. I am so strong now. I faced so much head on, I climbed the biggest mountain, reached the top, and I feel alive. I feel like a brand new person. I am terrified to go back to my old drinking habits, and that is basically what keeps me sober.

What it means to me to be sober is that I am not drinking socially,...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 50 - Desires Versus Reality

Posted 02-17-2019 at 09:26 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , sober , sobriety , wine , wino

Desires....

Orange Mimosas at brunch.
Menage a Tois Merlot while cooking.
Dirty martini at a night club.
Guiness on tap at an Irish pub.
Fat Tire at a football game.
Mambo Taxi margaritas at Mi Cosina.
Frozen Tom Collins on the beach.

Reality....

Shitfaced on the floor.

You can't have one, you would drink 5, then end up feeling like arse and full of shame the next morning. There is so much more to life
...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 37 - Boobs

Posted 02-04-2019 at 08:14 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags cancer , sober , sobriety , wine , wino

Just another sober day here. I woke up to a second day of sunshine in blue skies. It was short lived, as we head back to cold weather and dark skies again tomorrow. I was able to finish my 5th real estate course today, with a big exam tomorrow, then all is left is my 6th course before my final licensing exam. Big road ahead, full of dreams.

I have been to a couple specialists to see where I am at health wise, after getting sober. I wanted to make sure that I knew what damage...
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Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 18 - Marriage - An Alcoholic's Perspective

Posted 01-16-2019 at 08:36 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

Communication, forgiveness, kindness, compassion, respect, and trust; the absence of these attributes are detrimental to a marriage. Both parties should be trying their best every day to act on these characteristics for a healthy relationship.

I have been drunk so many times in the past 15 years of our relationship, too many to count, and I beat myself up for that each day. My husband is a very sensitive, loving, gentle, and kind man. He is my balance and he is my rock. I am...
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DAY 9 - Hanging by a Thread

Posted 01-07-2019 at 07:47 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags hurt , sobriety , strength , wine , wino

Christmas break officially ends today for my daughter (14), she returns to 8th grade tomorrow. The past 3 weeks both of her cousins and she were either at our house, my sister's house or my mom's house. I did a lot of driving kids around, I take them to the mall, I take them to get their nails done, I cook for them, I make fun snacks for them, I take them to Six Flags, I take them to the trampoline park. I listen to their problems, I put up with their bs, I let them stay up until 3:00am, I intervene...
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