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DAY 17 - The Guilt of a Drunk Parent

Posted 01-15-2019 at 01:09 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , guilt , mother , pain , sober

I just got back from taking my 14 year old daughter to get an ultra sound done on her lower and upper abdomen. She has suffered from chronic, severe stomach pain since she was little, and it's not because she is constipated. She has had episodes where she is shaking and has convulsions, where she thinks she is going to die. I am not being dramatic, she has literally asked me if she was dying. It's very scary as a parent to not be able to answer that question when your little girl is having...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
Views 93 Comments 0 LoveHateMerlot is offline
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Day 32 - I want to go home.

Posted 04-16-2017 at 10:03 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , god , mother , relapse , wine

I pray to God every day, that I had a different life, and didn't have this constant, loud voice telling me it would be so much better if I had a drink in my hand. Maybe I'll be sober one day for good. I know it's not happening here in Texas, surrounded by temptations left and right. I want to go home, back to Washington, to my husband. It's weird because I've absolutely hated the past 8 months since our move to Seattle. What a lonely life since my move to Washington. At least it's easier...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
Views 672 Comments 0 LoveHateMerlot is offline
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Day 27 - I'd rather...

Posted 04-11-2017 at 05:30 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags alcoholic , baby , mother , wine

Dance at night on the dewy lawn,
Listen to a No Doubt song.

Tip toe through a field of butterflies,
Stand underneath the star lit skies.

Float on a tube down the river,
Get used to the water as I shiver.

Ride a bike on the boardwalk,
Meet new friends, hang out and talk.

Watch a punk band put on a fun show,
Sneak up to the very front row.

Hold my brand new baby for the first time,
...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
Views 739 Comments 0 LoveHateMerlot is offline
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Day Four - Good Times

Posted 03-19-2017 at 10:04 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 03-20-2017 at 08:44 PM by LoveHateMerlot
Tags day 4 , mother , recovery , sober , wine

I like to use the term "Good Times" a lot because it was my father's last words to me. What an incredible man.

Yesterday I prayed to God, please I need the sun, I need it so badly to pull me through this haze and depression.

Today was pretty great! I woke up close to 7:00 am on a Sunday morning. Um, that hasn't happened voluntarily in a very, very long time. I got up with a burst of energy, and what - no hangover? It's such a significant different kind...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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