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DAY 59 - Drunk Dreams

Posted 02-26-2019 at 08:24 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags dreams , drunk , mom , wine , wino

Have you ever had a dream (or nightmare) where you have given up on your sobriety and gave into a drink? I keep having those dreams. Last night I was wasted drunk in my dream and having a great time at a resort on a beach. Drink after drink, dancing and laughing and having a "what the hell" attitude. I didn't feel any remorse or regret in my dream. I wasn't worried about consequences. I didn't care that I was embarrassing myself. It was so vivid, like I still feel it actually...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 50 - Desires Versus Reality

Posted 02-17-2019 at 10:26 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , sober , sobriety , wine , wino

Desires....

Orange Mimosas at brunch.
Menage a Tois Merlot while cooking.
Dirty martini at a night club.
Guiness on tap at an Irish pub.
Fat Tire at a football game.
Mambo Taxi margaritas at Mi Cosina.
Frozen Tom Collins on the beach.

Reality....

Shitfaced on the floor.

You can't have one, you would drink 5, then end up feeling like arse and full of shame the next morning. There is so much more to life
...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 25 - Drunk Call to Ex's Wife

Posted 01-23-2019 at 01:41 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 01-23-2019 at 02:57 PM by LoveHateMerlot

One thing that is difficult to swallow when you are sober, and just merrily scooting along, is when a hiccup occurs. It kind of shakes your day up. It's that moment when someone brings up something from your past and you have to remind yourself that who you are today is nothing like the person from yesterday, and hopefully people forgive you.

I woke up in the best mood with a sense of a light radiating from my soul. I am feeling on top of the world. I drop off my daughter at...
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Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 24 - The Bachelor

Posted 01-22-2019 at 02:04 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I am currently in the process of taking courses to obtain a Real Estate license. Sobriety has made this process a lot easier on me. It is SO much information, my head feels like it is going to explode. Since my sobriety, I don't have to manage hangovers and I have a clear head. I have been able to retain information a lot faster. I am scoring higher on benchmark tests. I can study hours at a time now.

I am currently at the end of the 4th course, and after I pass this course...
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Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 17 - The Guilt of a Drunk Parent

Posted 01-15-2019 at 01:09 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , guilt , mother , pain , sober

I just got back from taking my 14 year old daughter to get an ultra sound done on her lower and upper abdomen. She has suffered from chronic, severe stomach pain since she was little, and it's not because she is constipated. She has had episodes where she is shaking and has convulsions, where she thinks she is going to die. I am not being dramatic, she has literally asked me if she was dying. It's very scary as a parent to not be able to answer that question when your little girl is having...
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