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Entry 1: Day 4 - shadows of things

Posted 05-08-2017 at 10:24 AM by SoberInStAlbans

As a pale, skinny and withdrawn child I could feel the impending move to WV. My parents had divorced 4 years before when I was 8.

There was something there. It was a sensation, a feeling. It felt like a knot in my chest or a gaping maw of blackness, it's smoky black tendrils spiraling outward.

I walked down to the local Harding's grocery store and bought a box of doughnuts. I came back home, likely alone in the house. I shut my door and opened the box. Sitting...
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Old

Triggers and justifications? Doesn't matter when they are both lies

Posted 09-04-2016 at 11:04 AM by Lightning Bug (Sober Bug - Getting Sober to Achieving Recovery)

This post is about reflection, not something I am going through. It is an observation made now that I have a clear mind.

In active addiction I thought my main triggers were mostly of a big nature, like work, family stress, fights with the husband, criticism for something. I justified my drinking after these events because I honestly felt triggered.

What I am remembering now are the little everyday things that I thought were also triggers. I used the excuse "well...
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A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
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Old

10 Months and The Lure of Moderation

Posted 05-13-2015 at 10:02 AM by SparkyMcSparky

Isn`t it amazing that when you quit drinking, everyone has an opinion for you? These opinions can range from "It's about time, man. You were getting out of control." to "You didn't have a problem."

After you've been sober for some time, these opinions change. Out with a friend I see a few dozen times during the year, he remarked when he saw me drinking a non-alcoholic drink, "Wow, are you still not drinking?"

My response, "Yep,...
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Working-cl*** pseudo tough
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Old

Overcoming Denial

Posted 09-29-2014 at 07:54 PM by SobrioVida (Recover, Rediscover, Redefine)

Most alcoholics, at least the ones that I've known, go through denial at least twice.

The first, and most obvious, is denying that you are actually an alcoholic. When you deny to yourself, out loud or in silence, that you are an alcoholic you've taken a huge step toward recovery. It might not seem like anything but you've subconsciously admitted it to yourself already just by thinking about it.

Non-alcoholics do not have to justify their drinking to anyone let alone...
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Seeker of Enlightenment
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Old

Sparky's Page of Rage - Chapter 2 - Starting to Pull the Scabs

Posted 08-20-2014 at 08:28 AM by SparkyMcSparky
Updated 08-21-2014 at 06:34 PM by SparkyMcSparky

Well, Iíve mentioned ďripping off scabsĒ in some of the forums, and thought Iíd work peripherally at this; letís pull at a few small ones, and see how we do. As Iíve tossed this around in my brain for a couple of days however, I am thinking this is just delaying the inevitable. So, letís just start ripping the biggest scab off today, shall we?

Firstly, Iíd like to put a disclaimer here. This is not a pity party, and I am not looking for sympathy. I have known people who have been...
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