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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
Diary of Wino
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DAY 40 - Biopsy

Posted 02-07-2019 at 08:50 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I am a strawberry blonde with fair skin and freckles. On top of drinking like a fish I have also been to tanning beds when I was younger. I was young and dumb. I went to San Diego and Mexico a ton, while growing up in Arizona. Any 311 fans reading this? I laid out in that brutal sun with zero sunscreen, thinking peachy-pink reddish skin still looked better than pure, snow white skin. If only time machines were real, right? So far, since last year, I had 3 basil cell carcinomas cut out of...
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LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 39 - Sobering News

Posted 02-06-2019 at 01:43 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I love trips to the museum. I was able to have an overdue date with my Mom this afternoon, and catch up. We looked at art pieces, talked about the techniques, the meanings, the era they were painted in, etc.
We sat for a long lunch afterwards, and caught up. It was pretty great, and I have been taking her for granted. I really enjoyed my time with her. She rarely shares anything about herself to her children, so we don't ever speak about the past. After talked her ear off about my...
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DAY 38 - Facebook

Posted 02-05-2019 at 07:42 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

The past few weeks I have focused on the relationships that I have with my daughters. I am so grateful that they are responding well to sober Mom, and it is the fuel to my fire.

I don't ever make an effort to visit with my mom. She lives 10 miles from me. Although my youngest 14 y/o daughter was spending most of the weekends at my mom's house with her cousins, she hasn't been over there since I stopped drinking. It's been about 5 weekends in a row. My mom is very emotionally...
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LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 37 - Boobs

Posted 02-04-2019 at 08:14 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags cancer , sober , sobriety , wine , wino

Just another sober day here. I woke up to a second day of sunshine in blue skies. It was short lived, as we head back to cold weather and dark skies again tomorrow. I was able to finish my 5th real estate course today, with a big exam tomorrow, then all is left is my 6th course before my final licensing exam. Big road ahead, full of dreams.

I have been to a couple specialists to see where I am at health wise, after getting sober. I wanted to make sure that I knew what damage...
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DAY 36 - Sunshine

Posted 02-03-2019 at 04:09 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I am one of those people that really need the sun in order to function. It has been so cloudy and cold, not as cold as the Polar Vortex, but still cold. I need warmth and sunshine or else I am depressed, achey, unmotivated, and isolated. I have been diligent about keeping a positive attitude, regardless if it doesn't work right away. I know that if I stick with it long enough, I'll finally crack.

Today, this morning I was in the hugest funk. I couldn't bare the thought of doing...
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