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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
Diary of Wino
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DAY 45 - Mood Swinging

Posted 02-12-2019 at 08:30 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

Sober is slowly becoming a norm for me now. I am invited to start 'Girl, Wash Your Face' at my neighbor's book club tonight. I am super excited to be surrounded by new people. I love getting the opportunity to meet new friends. My neighbor told me, "...and I'll have wine!". Of course you will have wine, that's what society expects at a women's social gathering.

We are both fairly new to the neighborhood, so I haven't had a chance to hang out with her yet, this will...
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LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 44 - Not Today

Posted 02-11-2019 at 11:48 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I didn't blog yesterday. I don't feel like writing today, either.

....still sober.
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DAY 42 - Losing Hope

Posted 02-09-2019 at 09:39 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I was woken up at 3:00 am to my 20 y/o daughter's boyfriend FaceTiming me for help to deal with my wasted daughter trying to commit suicide. It lasted until 7:00 am. She is not in a good place, mentally. She needs help but she refuses. She is also selling her body for cash. She is embarrassed so she turned it all around on me today, and won't talk to me. Her boyfriend says she is acting like nothing even happened. I can't count how many times I have been woken up in the middle of the night...
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Day 41 - Living

Posted 02-08-2019 at 08:03 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 02-09-2019 at 05:20 PM by LoveHateMerlot

Great things are happening since the day I chose to LIVE instead of just EXIST. I have not had one drop of alcohol for 41 days. I have lost a total of 9 pounds since I quit drinking. Relationships are on the mend. I am about to finish my last course today for real estate licensing education, in order to take the my state and national real estate licensing exams. I am doing it! I am accomplishing my goals!

With my medical issues going on, I wish I could be happy and content....
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DAY 40 - Biopsy

Posted 02-07-2019 at 08:50 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I am a strawberry blonde with fair skin and freckles. On top of drinking like a fish I have also been to tanning beds when I was younger. I was young and dumb. I went to San Diego and Mexico a ton, while growing up in Arizona. Any 311 fans reading this? I laid out in that brutal sun with zero sunscreen, thinking peachy-pink reddish skin still looked better than pure, snow white skin. If only time machines were real, right? So far, since last year, I had 3 basil cell carcinomas cut out of...
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