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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
Diary of Wino
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Day 13 - Magic

Posted 03-28-2017 at 09:11 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 03-29-2017 at 08:06 AM by LoveHateMerlot

Here we go, another yuck day. I just didn't want to laugh or smile that much today, and I couldn't shake it. I'm worried about my 18 year old, she's somewhere in California, with whoever, doing whatever, and I don't know when she is coming home. I was in a FUNK today. I had even begun my day by praying, thanking God for this wonderful life He gave me, and I am so blessed and grateful. I asked Him to show me what I need to do, please direct me and talk to me today so I can do good. I had SO...
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day 12 - Pride

Posted 03-27-2017 at 09:31 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I like myself. I love myself. I can look in the mirror at myself and not feel ashamed. I can carry on conversations with people throughout the day, like I have nothing to hide. I am not jealous of other women my age that do not have a drinking problem. I feel good about what I have accomplished these past 12 days. I feel proud. I can carry on. I can love my family whole heartedly. I can make my own decision not to drink today, wine has no control over me. I am in control over my own actions....
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day 11 - Time Tells

Posted 03-26-2017 at 08:46 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags kids , mom , sober , time , wine

Last night around midnight my 12 year old came to wake me up. She was crying, having an emotional break down. Before I went to bed last night, she was up pretty late (being a Sat night) playing Minecraft and Skyping one of her friends. I told her to come wake me up when she was ready for me to tuck her in. After midnight, all of a sudden, she called me, waking me up from a deep sleep. I was so worried I had no idea what was going on. If this happened 12 or more nights ago, I would have 1)...
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day 10 - Sober is Cool

Posted 03-25-2017 at 10:08 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

Today was kind of a wonderful day. Despite some things going on with my 18 year old. I had a good friend from high school, who I have not seen in 20 years, come to our home with her husband and toddler. We took the puppies and went on a gorgeous hike in the mountains near our home. We caught up on our lives, laughed and played with the baby and puppies. I slow cooked some brisket all day, so after our hike we came back and I had brisket tacos and sweet mango tea to serve. Normally there would...
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day 9 - Lagertha

Posted 03-24-2017 at 06:32 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I'm starting to realize just how much strength is inside me to pull this off. I feel like Lagertha kicking ass on 'Vikings'. She is such a badass, I have a girl crush on her. If you haven't watched that yet, OMG you have to watch Vikings! There is no fairy to sprinkle magic dust on me, no doctor can give me a magic pill, and God is unable to force me to quit. This is all on me. Do I want to change for the better? HELL YES I DO! Do I want to go to the store and buy a bottle of wine right...
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LoveHateMerlot
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