DAY 65 - South Beach Miami - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 65 - South Beach Miami

Posted 03-04-2019 at 08:02 AM by LoveHateMerlot
Tags alcohol , miami , sober , wine , wino

My husband flew my 14 y/o daughter and I out to Miami for this past weekend, he had been there all week for work. The benefit of having a husband traveling so much is that he has a ton of miles he can use to purchase tickets.

I managed to get the house, my daughter, the dogs and cat, and myself organized for just 2 nights away. Usually I am frantically running all over the place getting everyone ready for the trip with an open bottle of wine. This time I did it all sober, that was tough.

My daughter and I landed Friday at 3:00, immediately surrounded by alcohol once we hit South Beach. I've been there before, so I had mentally prepared myself for this. I am used to the feeling of excitement to get on a plane to go somewhere, but I dreaded it. My husband took my daughter and I to a super nice restaurant, and I felt bitter, sharp, and disconnected. I tried so hard to shake my nasty mood. I tried to just live in the moment, and I pretended that I was okay. I wasn't okay, but pretended to be happy just for the sake of my husband and daughter. I kept feeling insecure and kept watching every single person around us drink their bottles of wine. I hate feeling insecure and jealous. I drank my sparkling water and smiled like I was having the time of my life. Eventually, our amazing food came out, and my forced smile eventually turned into a natural one. I was able to start enjoying myself, finally, half way through our dinner. I relaxed, laughed, and most of all appreciated being in that moment.

We stayed at the The Betsy, on Ocean Drive across from the ocean. We barely got any sleep at night because people partied in our hotel until 6:00 am. I laid in my bed furious at them. I laid there wishing I was them.

I woke up the next morning a little tired, but also felt as if all the pain, worries, insecurities, depression, anger, and sadness just left my body. I felt light and airy and happy. We spent Saturday in the cool, ocean water under a hot sun in 80 degree weather. We shopped around at the cute little vendor tents on the boardwalk. We got tasty, virgin daiquiris at an open bar near the beach. We ate delicious, authentic Cuban food. We shopped outside in the beautiful Lincoln Mall shops under the string lights and palm trees. We ate decadent ice cream. I never once felt like I was missing out that day. I never felt an urge to ruin any moment by taking a sip of alcohol.

Back home now, and it's 22 degrees outside. Even though this type of dark and cold nasty weather usually brings me to a fetal position, I REFUSE to let that happen today.

Today there are so many things to be thankful for; an amazing "sober" day in Miami with my husband and daughter, I am meeting with a large realty firm tonight to gain knowledge about starting my real estate agent career, and .......


it's my BIRTHDAY!!!

Posted in Diary of Wino
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