DAY 36 - Sunshine - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 36 - Sunshine

Posted 02-03-2019 at 05:09 PM by LoveHateMerlot

I am one of those people that really need the sun in order to function. It has been so cloudy and cold, not as cold as the Polar Vortex, but still cold. I need warmth and sunshine or else I am depressed, achey, unmotivated, and isolated. I have been diligent about keeping a positive attitude, regardless if it doesn't work right away. I know that if I stick with it long enough, I'll finally crack.

Today, this morning I was in the hugest funk. I couldn't bare the thought of doing any chores before restarting another week. I wanted to cook some fun appetizers for Super Bowl, then I realized I needed to give up on that plan. I was reading 'The Body Keeps the Score' and taking notes on all the things I need to keep track of on a daily basis. I read today that they did all their science research experiments on dogs in the 70's for PTSD. I am not a big fan of animal testing, so it was hard to swallow and keep reading. Luckily the author isn't a big fan himself and never partook in those type of experiments.

While I was reading I noticed a break in the clouds, and some sun peeked through. It was like a drug. I sat there plotting out my attack on everything I haven fallen behind on. First, some music. Next the Christmas tree. I was texting with my sober sister, who resides on the East coast, we were sharing with each other about how the cloudy days were really depressing. I even told her that I was considering going back on Prozac. I wasn't about to tell her that my cloudy day turned to sunny and 70, and stayed that way. Holy cow, it was a blessing.

From there on I managed to clean the entire house and made killer meatballs for Super Bowl.

I love the sun.
Posted in Diary of Wino
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