DAY 33 - Results - Positivity Exercise - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 33 - Results - Positivity Exercise

Posted 01-31-2019 at 07:18 AM by LoveHateMerlot

The past several days I have been down in the dumps, feeling like, "Am I ever going to feel normal again?". I have been wanting to give up on my sobriety, dangerously allowing those "what if's" lure me back into the dark side. Yesterday, I tried to "manifest" what I ultimately needed. I simply need to find my happiness again.

Yesterday I decided to focus on stopping any negative thought that entered into my brain dead in its track. Any time a negative thought entered, immediately figuring out the positive instead. It was not an easy task, because I would forget often that I was actively doing this exercise. Sometimes I would smack myself in the forehead, "Oh yeah! I am forcing positive vibes on to myself today!"

I am not sure why sobriety makes me forget every single thing I was practicing before these sober days. I have spent so much time and energy on researching talks on meditation, foods that cause chemical reactions to produce or block hormones, how to get a good night's sleep, what supplements are good for me, etc. I was a functioning alcoholic ironically practicing holistic measures. All that education is thrown out the window, useless to me today. It's like I am starting from the beginning and finding what works with sober me.

Anyways, the results from yesterday's forced, positive outlook exercise are amazing! It worked! I woke up at 6:00 am this morning feeling really great. I am still fighting aches, pains, sore throat and congestion, but with a positive attitude so far today. I was able to finally be intimate with my husband this morning, and it's literally been over a month since the last time we were.

It's only morning now, I have an entire day to face, but I will continue forcing myself to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Posted in Diary of Wino
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