Day 29 - CPS - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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Day 29 - CPS

Posted 01-27-2019 at 08:30 PM by LoveHateMerlot
Updated 01-28-2019 at 06:52 AM by LoveHateMerlot

The good news, I've lost 8 pounds total since December. A lot of that was water weight at first, then the past few weeks have been so difficult to lose any weight at all. I may be a little obsessed, though. I began intermittent fasting, it's supposed to be good for cell repair during the state of ketosis. Now I am eating a ketosis diet, too. I never really wanted to take this path but this is my new addiction I guess. I am focused on healing my body. I want to get better in my yoga poses and run faster miles. My new desires and expectations are all over the place. Am I losing my mind?

I see a lot of dysfunction in my extended family now that I am sober. It's not good and I don't even know what to do. There is a situation that possibly could involve the court intervening and taking my niece and nephew away from their mother (my sister). My niece (14) and nephew (16) haven't been attending school in weeks. They both sit at home all day. My nephew is out of control, coming home on LCD and xanax. My older sister is allowing them to run the show, because she feels overwhelmed and holds a lot of guilt. When I was drinking every day, I didn't feel like it was my place to say anything about what was happening, because of my own bad mistakes, so I didn't. Last week I finally said something.

I took my sister to lunch, intending to just reconnect and lightly touch the topic on how the kids were and find out why they aren't going to school. She says it's depression, anxiety, self-image hate, and also the fact that their father went back to prison last week. I feel like if my sister isn't pushing them to do what they need to do, then she should seek professional help. She doesn't. She's an addict, just like me. She is also damaged from childhood. On top of that she has a very difficult time being around people and the public, and also has severe learning disabilities.

I offered today, to take my 14 year old niece for this next week. My nephew has extremely bad anger issues so I cannot help him. I have a guest room for her. I would help her get caught up in school, feed her healthy meals and work out with her every day. I won't be able to do this in a few weeks from now, after I get my Real Estate license.

My sister, without any explanation, refused. My mom called her crying to please let me help her. My sister lies a lot to us, and she told my mom that she would bring her daughter to me tonight. She turned around and texted me that she was keeping her home. I am also concerned that she lets her 16 year old son make the decisions for the house, like he is in charge. It's actually quite sick.

I am angry, so angry. I could go over there and demand to talk to my niece in private. She doesn't understand the consequences; short term and long term. She will have to retake 8th grade and CPS may take them away if my sister is ever found unfit. If she quits at 8th grade, she will be a quitter her entire life. My sister is teaching her to fail and to quit.

I just don't know what to do? Anyone have advice for me? I just cannot let this happen to my niece and nephew.
Posted in Diary of Wino
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