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Posted 03-11-2009 at 04:21 PM by dslalonde

Hi, I am new to this, but i realize i do need your help. I have a 19 year old beautiful son who has turned into somone i do not know. It has been a year now, and i cannot take much more. We have tried nice, strict, ignoring, but nothing gets thru to him. I have seen my son go from a happy, well adjusted gifted athelete to a scawny, mean, moody, alien. I need advice and guidance from parents who have been there. NO JOB< NO SCHOOL<NO relationships. He disappears for days, I worry sick that he is dead somewhere. Never knowing is killing me. His verbal abuse is heart wrenching when we have done everything in our power to give him every opportunity. I don't need to read another article, i need some real people who have been there and some real advice. He was rushed to TX over the holidays for a 5 day acute care . $5000 later and back home we are back to square one. We cannot make him do anything, due to his age, but there has to be help somewhere.
Please respond:praying:praying
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  1. Old Comment
    ANGELINA243's Avatar
    Welcome! GLad you are here. Have you ever been to an Alanon or Naranon meeting? Alanon or Naranon meetings should be able to help you--how to deal with this. They are friends/family members of alcoholics and/or addicts who meet regularly to help support one another. If your son doesn't want to stop using--there isn't much you can do to make him stop. One thing is certain--you didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it--his addiction. There are programs that can help him--but if he doesn't want to stop.....well, they probably wouldn't work. Recovery takes willingness on the part of the individual...even the smallest desire to change for the better could be a good starting point. Also, we have a forum here--friends/family of alcoholics and another one--friends/family of substance abuse......either one could help. People post there daily. Some have dealt with similar circumstances you have mentioned. I will say a prayer for your son. In the meantime--please keep reaching out and please check out the forums as well. I know you will get some responses there. Hugs/prayers for your family.
    Posted 03-11-2009 at 07:23 PM by ANGELINA243 ANGELINA243 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    thank you so much. He is such a wonderful young man, it breaks my heart to see him like this. Every conversation ends in confrontation. We are leaving for the weekend, i desperately need a break, i just pray my house and my son survive. I just can't keep up this pace.
    Posted 03-12-2009 at 07:39 AM by dslalonde dslalonde is offline
  3. Old Comment
    I will leave him with no money, and it breaks my heart. We are headed to the mountains, his love for snow boarding breaks my heart that we are not asking him to come. But he makes every trip a nightmare (truly). My husband has shut him off, his verbal abuse toward his father is hard to swallow. Over the holidays, when we experienced his last breakdown, we had to call the cops and he actually bit his father. Doesn't remember of course, but i am afraid of the next outburst. He gets so totally out of control, it is scary.
    Posted 03-12-2009 at 07:43 AM by dslalonde dslalonde is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Angelic17's Avatar
    Well, if your son is a danger to himself and others, there is a special law that you can have him commited. I really feel for you, you have your hands full, and your beautiful son, has poison in his brain. Addiction is a brain disease, and the only way his brain will ever go back to normal, is if he doesn't put more drugs in his brain. Don't give him any money. If you do, he will only buy drugs with it. You have to listen. Your asking for advice, but will you take it? Don't enable your son. GIVE HIM NOTHING. If he is disrespectful or abusive, PUT HIM OUT. Get Tough, or else you will continue this behavior for many years to come. It's up to you , to put an end to it. Your son is not in his right mind. His say is nothing. You need to go to Naranon and get some help. I'm so sorry for you. I have been where you are. Your son can and will be ok, but not until you take the right steps. Wishing you peace, and innerpeace, and a healing for your family, especially your son. God Bless. Angel
    Posted 03-23-2009 at 01:13 PM by Angelic17 Angelic17 is offline

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