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Opening the gift of Sobriety / Re-Discovering myself


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Opening the gift of Sobriety / Re-Discovering myself

Posted 03-27-2014 at 10:55 AM by calichris

Just wanted to share something I've been experiencing...

In my 17 days sober I have experienced many up and many downs. I am riding out this crazy roller coaster knowing that it is actually part of the healing process. My natural highs are very high and my lows can be very low and very rough.

I am noticing that all the stuff I've been bottling up inside by drinking for 20+ years is now finally coming up to surface itself – and it all wants to be heard all at once at times which can feel extremely overwhelming! In order to truly heal I need to not push these feelings back down or stay "too busy" to deal with them. As hard as it is, I need to be present with these nasty things from the past (feelings of guilt, anger, regret, hatred, not forgiving others, etc.). I need to let these things out and give them their space to be free. It sucks as they are [sometimes] surfacing all at the same time but I know I've packed them down so hard deep inside under my conscious mind deep into the unconscious. Some of this stuff really hurts especially when it comes in waves all at once. I keep reminding myself it is part of the healing process and drinking would only push them down again temporarily (and deeper). Finally I am addressing the real me. Only finally now I am brave enough to let these things surface and let them be heard and hence heal thanks to you all and God's strength (sorry if you don't believe in that that's okay).

Just having some of these things heard and acknowledged is healing in itself. Who says alcohol gives you courage? BS! This sobriety journey takes WAY more courage. Not drinking is true courage!! We should be SO proud of ourselves!!

On the bright side I am noticing the natural highs in life more and more. I've had some of my best natural highs in my life the past 17 days. It gets better over time! Hang in there newcomers it is SO worth it !!!!!! I found myself giddy at times, my heart, body and soul thanking me for allowing all the bad stuff to exit my body and mind. Sharing with others is a huge part of this healing process! I notice in these moments of giddiness and pure natural high/joy, I am like a kid opening a present. What I mean is… By not drinking, the old/original self gets revealed again. I feel like a kid opening a present and marvel at the surprise and beauty as I unwrap the gift which is my sobriety and my true natural self.

I love you all and I am so proud of us to have the courage to be on this amazing journey together.

Love, Chris
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