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Just another thought or two...

Posted 12-27-2009 at 10:49 PM by barb dwyer

Maybe this
is where
I should have been posting all this freaking out
slum lord stuff.

I've so needed every ounce of
hope encouragement and support
that I've received here on SR over this nightmare of a Christmas.

I'm quite anzious
(whether understandably or not - it sucks)

someone posted earlier about
me having grace through all this.

Oh,,, hell no, I'm thinkin.

I'm terrified to go home.

At the same time -
I'm feeling a tug
toward the mindset
'well Infinite - where's the next location?'

I've had the thoughts like
"What if the lawyer won't see me?'
I mean he's just someone I know from AA
who I've spoken to about needing a lawyer for other things, you know?
Now to call with an emergency like this -
what if he hasn't got time?
What if he's gone till after new years?

that's the kind of thinking
I'm always telling people on here ...
to get out of.

Well, 'wise' yourself outa this one, Barb.
Maybe not OUT of ...
but through.

I always thoughtr
if you went 'crazy'
you felt better.
I mean snapped mind and all that -
now I'm wondering
if it just ... stays bad?

Oh well.
Time for a turkey sammich.
I'll let everyone know what happened
tomorrow night.
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