August 5th 2019 life at 69 not 19 or 29 or 49 or 59 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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August 5th 2019 life at 69 not 19 or 29 or 49 or 59


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August 5th 2019 life at 69 not 19 or 29 or 49 or 59

Posted 08-05-2019 at 05:19 AM by ardy

Hi Blog.. my safe place to put my heart and tears and fears..
Had my Birthday yesterday Sunday August 4th 2019 .. a long way from August 4th 1950. yep.. could not hear Pop in my head for the first time ever on my Birthday no Hey Arda wake up its your birthday..
it was a nice day worked my little garden got Ed to come out and sit on the porch for a bit..
put 4 tiny cherry tomatoes out on the bannister for the squrril friend. he had such a good time with them.. Shadow sat in the window and made winkle eyes at him...

Eddie Lee my hubby. what will I do with out you. for this will happen. and I have no fight left to keep the reaper at bay. for you have tossed your life to the wind.. a the kid of the 1960's sex drugs and rock and roll and then in 1992 on a wim you answered a singles add for a Lady Clown. thought you wanted a better life.. a different life .. and she wanted someone to share her adventures with.. it worked out so well for the first6 years.. I knew what I was getting into.. your back ground the problems with law and it did not matter. for you gave up a bunch of junk to be next to a bright light of Truth Faith and laughter ... you could not believe all the people that you had partied with that she had been security for or had entertained their children carefully and with respect... love the twinkle in your blue eyes the curl of the great Mustache,, the true brown and gold with red in it. the German and Irish gentlemen.. a lover with slow hands and a gentle touch..
you traded your life for what I had to offer .. but you have tossed so much away. that now you need the mind to find out why you want to stay and live with me and you just have no idea how to have a life .. you are loosing the battle .. with the heart and o2 to your brain.. I am fighting the reaper and you to try and keep you safe and with me for just a little longer.. but the Doctors do not look at the body or your eyes that cloud and the black and blue that is happening to your legs again..
our time grows short .. I know it. it breaks my heart .. and you just do not understand or have stopped caring.. well I will try to stand tall hold the high ground and keep punching.. but the slow slipping of your face your twinkle and the grey/blue of your skin. is happening and I can not do anything but watch. for we are just little people not movers or shakers and no country will fall when we are no more.. but you know that when you are out of that dying shell you will hear my howl of pain for nights to come... love you so much my Eddie Lee .. God please just don't let him be to lost please. just a old lady clown of faith and tears and love.. ardy
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  1. Old Comment
    Opivotal's Avatar
    ((Ardy)) Sending my love and prayers to you and your Eddie Lee.

    Happy Birthday, lovely lady clown.

    Posted 08-06-2019 at 10:49 AM by Opivotal Opivotal is offline

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