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Is two bottles of wine a night a lot ?

Posted 01-30-2014 at 01:55 PM by alphaomega

When I finally copped to falling off the wagon, getting run over and dragged by it, I logged in. Shocking to see that almost 2 years have passed since my last log in. Two years. Two years of secrets, buzzes that didn't even please me in any regard any longer, justifying that two bottles of wine wasn't even that much in 4 hours. I kid you not, I really felt that. What scared me almost as much as the hangovers that would render me completely shot the day after drinking, was that after those two bottles...
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Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
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Old

Anxious mornings.

Posted 01-26-2014 at 08:28 PM by alphaomega

There's this moment, right before a planes nose is about to ascend, where everything feels possible. You are moving along on the tarmac, gaining momentum, anticipating the take off. Then, ever so smoothly, off you go. That's my favorite moment in flying. It's as if the whole Universe is suddenly accessible in a single instant. Where anything can happen and your imagination is the only thing that limits you to your full potential.

That's what the instant of waking up sober feels like...
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Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
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Views 742 Comments 1 alphaomega is offline
Old

Sobriety is a privilege. And a luxury.

Posted 01-26-2014 at 06:58 PM by alphaomega

During an exceptionally difficult period of emotional sh1tstorms this last week, I have been forced to evaluate both my own sobriety, as well as the sober path in general.

Both, in more depth than I really cared to.

I had a major case of the "wah wahs" that was dangling the booze in front of my face. As if it was a prize of some sort. Mentally thinking that I have managed to deal with A. and therefore deserved to get drunk. Or, I had faced B. square on....
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Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
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Views 712 Comments 1 alphaomega is offline
Old

100

Posted 01-20-2014 at 07:42 AM by alphaomega

Kinda nuts but I woke up this morning - 101 days in - and I FINALLY think I look better.

I have been receiving lovely compliments from people who haven't seen me in a while and that is nice. But I know when I look my best, and it definitely hasn't been the case as of late. But this morning, there's a glimmer in my eye, and a glow to my cheeks, and I look rested finally.
Mind you I have been hiking in nature for the last four days.

There definitely is something...
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Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
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Views 485 Comments 0 alphaomega is offline
Old

Ninety.

Posted 01-09-2014 at 09:28 AM by alphaomega
Updated 01-10-2014 at 12:45 PM by alphaomega

This is surreal.

I remember during one if my most horrific hangovers, thinking while I couldn't catch my breath between dry heaves, with the bitter taste in my mouth that only stomach bile procures, I am dying. This one, of all of the hundreds before, was going to be the one that finally took me. With the sheer agony or anxiety and doom that is a side dish to the main course of ones body shutting down from being poisoned, I laid there and waited for death.

At my own...
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Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 1034 Comments 0 alphaomega is offline


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