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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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Day 4 - Christmas Eve Nightmare

Posted 01-02-2019 at 09:00 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 01-07-2019 at 07:52 AM by LoveHateMerlot
Tags recovery , sober , wine , wino

I have done this sober thing over one hundred times and failed but there have only been TWO times where I actually was mentally prepared and strong enough.

I don't go to AA meetings, I didn't like them mostly because you have to say, "Hi there, I'm _________, and I'm an alcoholic." Alcohol is my addiction, and red wine is my vice. I love to go on Instagram and compare my addicted self to all these perfect women who seem to have all their **** together. Their perfect...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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Day 34 - Finally home!

Posted 04-18-2017 at 11:56 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

So exhausted, just landed and it's almost midnight. My 12 year old daughter is sick, so it's a challenge getting her to the car right now.

I will have so much to write about tomorrow, though, and will update on the latest. For now, I'm home and sober!

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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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Day 12 - Pride

Posted 03-27-2017 at 09:31 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I like myself. I love myself. I can look in the mirror at myself and not feel ashamed. I can carry on conversations with people throughout the day, like I have nothing to hide. I am not jealous of other women my age that do not have a drinking problem. I feel good about what I have accomplished these past 12 days. I feel proud. I can carry on. I can love my family whole heartedly. I can make my own decision not to drink today, wine has no control over me. I am in control over my own actions....
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day Six - Score!

Posted 03-21-2017 at 08:56 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

So here are 20 bonuses that I've scored these past 6 days of sobriety:

1) No hangover.
2) Wake up early.
3) Patience.
4) Healthier skin.
5) Energy.
6) Love for myself.
7) Balancing the day's events.
8) Awareness of others' feelings.
9) Strength.
10) Sense of accomplishment.
11) Eyes are brighter and whiter.
12) No liver or pancreas pain.
13) No back pain.
14) More time in the day.
15)...
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day Four - Good Times

Posted 03-19-2017 at 09:04 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 03-20-2017 at 07:44 PM by LoveHateMerlot
Tags day 4 , mother , recovery , sober , wine

I like to use the term "Good Times" a lot because it was my father's last words to me. What an incredible man.

Yesterday I prayed to God, please I need the sun, I need it so badly to pull me through this haze and depression.

Today was pretty great! I woke up close to 7:00 am on a Sunday morning. Um, that hasn't happened voluntarily in a very, very long time. I got up with a burst of energy, and what - no hangover? It's such a significant different kind...
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LoveHateMerlot
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