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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 22 - Lying to a Doctor

Posted 01-20-2019 at 07:05 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags damage , doctor , hope , liver , pain

I had been experiencing liver pain the past couple years. It's been a significant factor in my decision to quit for life. I recently wrote a post about how I am trying to repair my liver. I have mild, acute pain on my right side, under my rib cage, after taking supplements and vitamins or eating. It's not debilitating, I just know it's there. I have not been to the doctor yet to get checked out. The reason is because I am embarrassed. I told my doctor last year on my annual check up that...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 11 - Hope

Posted 01-09-2019 at 07:24 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags hope , libido , sober , wine , wino

This morning I woke up to my 6:00 am alarm with no problem! Wow!
I woke up with a positive attitude and a smile on my face. I haven't felt this great in a very long time. I will not take this feeling for granted and will use this power to give my life a boost. So I set quite a few goals for the day. Mainly school, I'm working on the 4th Real Estate education course, 2 more courses to go before I get my license, and it's been long and grueling! Today I see the light at the...
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day 18 - Hope!

Posted 04-02-2017 at 09:43 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , hope , mom , sober , wine

It's getting better. I am here to tell you it does get better. I'm not ever going to be healed from alcoholism, and now I know that sobriety is the only way to live for an alcoholic. I had quit so many times in the past, and convinced myself that I'm not as bad as other alcoholics (look I have wine in a fancy glass you see) but the truth was 1) I was making excuses to drink again, 2) I could easily get worse than what I was, and 3) there is no spectrum with alcoholism, it's yes or no. It's...
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LoveHateMerlot
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