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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 42 - Losing Hope

Posted 02-09-2019 at 10:39 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I was woken up at 3:00 am to my 20 y/o daughter's boyfriend FaceTiming me for help to deal with my wasted daughter trying to commit suicide. It lasted until 7:00 am. She is not in a good place, mentally. She needs help but she refuses. She is also selling her body for cash. She is embarrassed so she turned it all around on me today, and won't talk to me. Her boyfriend says she is acting like nothing even happened. I can't count how many times I have been woken up in the middle of the night...
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day 21 - Urges

Posted 04-05-2017 at 10:29 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

Fighting the urges tonight! Like big time! I honestly used every drop of strength I had to convince myself to not get a bottle of wine tonight. I had to go back and reread my blogs earlier, and remind myself some of the reasons why I chose sobriety.

I went into my 18 year old's room this morning. She had stuffed the blanket up with pillows and used fur from a jacket to fake her hair. At first, I thought it was her, I said her name louder and louder and she wouldn't wake up....
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