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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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Day 21 - ACTION!

Posted 01-19-2019 at 10:27 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

3 weeks sober today!

The cravings at night are not as intense as the first week, but they are still here. I am well aware that I will have cravings for alcohol for the rest of my life. I will have good days, and there will be plenty of bad days ahead. I will always be an alcoholic, that part will never go away. I am wired to be an addict to the end of my life. I take it one day at a time and make a strong plan of what I will say and do before I am in a situation where alcohol...
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LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 20 - 'Twisted Repeat'

Posted 01-18-2019 at 10:31 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

Twisted Repeat

In the dark I lay down and close my eyes,
I try not to listen to the demon's lies.

I am paralyzed and frozen from the fear,
Is that a dark figure holding a shear?

I pile up blankets and pillows for protection,
A scary beast lurks near with a creepy flexion.

I attempt to force these images from my mind,
As a creature crawls above with a snake twined.

I wake in the new morning feeling
...
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LoveHateMerlot
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Day 12 - Pride

Posted 03-27-2017 at 09:31 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

I like myself. I love myself. I can look in the mirror at myself and not feel ashamed. I can carry on conversations with people throughout the day, like I have nothing to hide. I am not jealous of other women my age that do not have a drinking problem. I feel good about what I have accomplished these past 12 days. I feel proud. I can carry on. I can love my family whole heartedly. I can make my own decision not to drink today, wine has no control over me. I am in control over my own actions....
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